Monday, August 09, 2004

Something has to be done..... I am so depressed and I really just dont want to live anymore. My existance is bordering on constantly crying. I am no longer happy at all. I feel like I have no reason to live. I sent text message after text message today..... no response.....

And thats another thing..... how can tiff write so much about me in her blog.... how much she loves me and stuff.... and then all of a sudden throw me to the side and just totally forget that I ever exsisted?

*sigh* I really am thinking I need to just move away..... but then again, that probably wouldnt solve anything. Patti is right.... I need to figure out what I want out of life. I talked to Jim today and he said "just try to get over it...." the only response I had was "I dont know what I need to get over" .... just too much wrong..... nothing in my control..... I feel like I have no friends and I feel like no one cares..... though that may not be true, I still feel it. I'm all alone.... and if I was the person I wanna be, I'd be picking up my Bible and giving God my all.... but I feel too depressed to even do that. I am not who I want to be.... I havent been since the very start of May.

Well... I guess I'll go cry myself to sleep now.... at least I get to see Eli tomorrow.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have quite a bit to say here, but very little time before work. First of all, this blog saddens me. Second of all, I do care and have made that very clear so don't be saying you don't have any friends or no one that cares. Third, you have circumstances in your life that people just don't know how to respond to or how to help you and sadly most people will run the other way because they don't want to hurt you. Forth, I know what it's like to feel like there is no one who cares and all you feel like doing is crying, it hurts really bad, bad enough to want to end it all. Fifth, Bob, I know you don't want to hear this, but I do belive that if there isn't someone in your life at all times that you are unhappy, you really need to just stop, stop dateing for a while and get back onto your feet, you are 24 years old and have many years ahead of you. Believe it or not there are other things to do (mainly church). I tell you this as a friend and in love as your brother in Christ. I don't have the answers, Only God does, but like I've said before, I'm here if you want to get together and hang out or even to cry, I'm a good listener and I cry myself so I'd probably join you. Hang in there bro. Call me ok?

doof ;)