It's horrible when you begin hating the person that you always loved.... but yet as hard as you try, you can't give up.

I need prayer. I'm crushed... I have never felt so much like I wanted to die before. I'm tired of dealing with main and I'm tired of so much crap happening to me. I am not happy... I try to pretend but I am not happy. I keep looking towards a hopefull future, but when it comes it crushes me even more. I'm scared... and I long so much for someone to love me... to have someone that will let me love them. Someone that is willing to adjust for me and not make me do all the sacrifices and all the adjusting. I'm tired of that. And yet I cant give up... because... I dont know why... I just cant.... and it becomes even worse when its all you hear. Give up Bob.... And I cant. And I still here it... but I still cant. I dont know why I cant.... Alot of times I want to... but I cant.... It would be easier if people would quit telling me to give up... not alot... but a little easier.... even though I know their point of view, I cant stand hearing someone tell me to jump 100 feet in the air when I just cant. It gets annoying. I can understand the good of jumping that high... but I cant do it right now.

All I ask for right now is prayer.... I need it badly.