Wednesday, December 31, 2003

This is my last blog of 2003. Just want to wish everyone a happy new year. We're having a great time bowling. God bless.
I'm depressed already..... and I'm not the only one. It looks like the start of 2004 is not gonna be good for any of my family.

My mom planned this big party.... bought all kinds of food... and pretty much everyone backed out on her.... so now we are stuck with alot of food and no one to eat it... and she's stuck with some hurt feelings.... most of the people my mom totally understood why they werent going to come... and even when she asked them they were maybes.... the bad thing was her "best friend" was definately coming and now she made up a story to get out of it... at the last min.....

And then of course me.... this was the night I was supposed to see Tiff. At midnight we were supposed to officially start going out... 2004 was going to start off great for me.... I couldnt wait for it to get here..... now it's here... and I'm heartbroken. I'm really down right now and I desperately need something happy to happen.... I hope things go well at bowling... cuz right now all I want to do is lay on my bed and cry.
Any idea how hard it is to sit at my computer with Tiffany sitting on the top of my buddy list and not say anything to her?
I'm leaving to go somewhere..... not sure where yet tho!
Please pray for me tonight.... this was supposed to be a very special night for me.... now it wont be. Please pray that I have a good time anyway.

Well it looks like I'll have a decent New Year's Eve.... but I wont have someone to kiss.... *sigh*

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

I guess I just had a semi-civil conversation with Tiff. I flat out told her that the words "I love you" from her dont mean anything to me.... I told her not to say them, but she did anyway. I told her that I am willing to forgive.... but she has to take some giant steps to correct things and show me that she really does love me. The way she acted the last few weeks has no evidence of love. I told her that she can still make a decission.... and I am willing to make ammends and start over but I told her that I am not waiting. If she makes the decission in time, great... if not... well, I didnt throw it away.... she did.
Also thanks to Steve (my manager) for putting some things in perspective for me today. Without his talk today, I wouldnt have even been talking to Tiff..... He's about the only person in my life right now that has a positive opinion... and I need that. All of my friends who put Tiff down dont help me at all... they only make me mad at them..... stupid "I told you so" attitudes. God is taking care of this. I dont need someone telling me what I did wrong.... because, in fact, maybe I didnt do anything wrong. Anyway, thanks again, Steve!

Monday, December 29, 2003

This is going to be a long blog.... but PLEASE read it if you care about me. This is what happened to me in the last week.

First of all, bowling tonight. I had a 223, 159, and 214. I found that if you look at the pins real closely they say "Tiffany" on them.

Christmas night at 3am I was admitted to Comprehensive Counseling Services at Westmoreland Regional Hospital in Greensburg, PA. Panic attacks were out of control.... anxiety was crazy..... and I was having PASSIVE suicide thoughts. The Mental Health nurse examined and interviewed me and recommended that I admit myself which I then did.

The time I spent in there was really good.... but my life changed drastically, twice... it got really good and then REALLY bad today. Tiffany drove the whole way down here from DuBois to visit me. She gave me hope again.... she made me feel like I was special again and convinced me that she really did care and really did love me. She went home and got into a fight with her parents. Here is the email that she sent my mom:

--Start Email
Hi there

Ok - so it was really bad last night. Mom and Dad yelled and yelled last

They put down Bobby so much last night, it wasn't even funny. Mom at one
point had been snooping in my e-mail and reading things he sent me - I did
catch on and changed my passsword. But Bobby has a log online - I'm sure you
know. Well I figure she found that out and has been reading it. So, she
acusses Bobby of a lot of things. I mean a lot. I tried and tried to stick
up for Bobby - but they wouldn't believe a darn word. I can't talk to them,
all they do is hollar. I told them I talk to you because you listem and
don't sit there and yell at me. Of course they had to say - Sure because she
wants you to be with Bobby.

No matter what I said - It wasn't true!

They said I have to tell Jim before the weekend's over. They said all I was
doing was jerking him around, Bobby and them too. And well- yea I suppose in
a sense it's true. But they won't try to even understand what I'm going
through right now. All it is, is Jim, Jim, Jim. Yes - Jim has gone through
hell. They don't believe that I have.

I can't come down there. I'm not allowed. If I go to Pittsburgh (as they
say) - I stay in Pittsburgh! Bobby and I really wanted to do New Years, but
we can't. He'll be crushed to know so. I won't be able to see him again
until after school starts up. I hope he'll understand.

He doesn't, and I don't have my parents blessing at all. They hate him and
don't know him at all. It's completely unfair. All they feel is - that Bobby
is a mental case and will only make my life miserable. They said that any
time he wants something - he will pull this same stunt again! All he'll do
is make my life a living hell. I was so upset.

I'm really urged to come and stay down there. But I know if do - I'll never
be allowed back. How can I really do that? My parents said Bobby has turned
me into this person that does nothing but lie and cheat now. I'm glad they
think so highly of me. I know what's been going on is awful - I have no good
excuse - but....

I wish they understood what Bobby meant to me, and give him a chance to know
him for who he is. For who I see is inside. When he stayed here for a few
days. Mom says he was rude! She says he wouldn't talk to them. He tried! He
could tell mom didn't want him there, or wanted nothing to do with him.

I doubt he'll ever be allowed to come to this house. It may take years - but
I'll prove to them that we're going to be happy. He's not going to treat me
bad. I know that.

I'm not really allowed to leave the house. Never been grounded once. Now I'm
20 years old. Isn't that insane?! I'm 20 and can't go see Bobby. Can't do

I'm sorry I'm going on so long. I was so upset last night. Still am now. But
I have to go back to work today from 12 to 8. I wish I knew how to make
things better. But I can't I guess. I wish ..... well a lot of things right
now. I guess I should quit rambling now. I may not be on for a few days.
We'll see. Tell Bobby not to worry. It may be best if he doesn't call until
I say it's alright. Until I can talk to him online and tell him a good time
to do that. Give him a hug for me. Thanks.

Love always
---End Email

So its pretty obvious that she wants to be with me... she wants to make it work.... I was ecstatic.... my life was going to be back in order.... I made a DRASTIC improvement and the doctors prepared me for discharge. This morning, right after filling out my discharge survey I talk to my mom and she tells me about this email:

---Start Email
Hi there.

I am really a mess. Mom and Dad said for me to make a forth
and so on... I told you all of that. But what you told before... well that's
what I know now I need to do. NO MATTER WHAT. I don't know what's going on
with me. I'm truly torn up inside. I'm not allowed to see Bobby anyway. But
what I need to do is spend some time to figure out what's best for me. I
told Jim I'm not going to see/talk to him. I have to do the same with Bobby
unfortunately. I really need to sort out my life for myself. B/C wherever I
go, I turn back and forth.

Jim and I talked about this last night. Without biassing me... he made me
realize, this is what I truly need. We talked about marriage.... and the
whole divorce thing. I'm not going to do that. I need to be sure where my
life will lead me.

I will ask Bobby when he comes home, if he will understand that for me. I
don't know if he will or not. I've hurt him enough. He doesn't deserve to be
hurting like this. So, that's his choice.... to give me time... or not... to
sort out my life.

I'm putting my foot down for once... and doing this for ME. I tried to do it
once, but it didn't quite happen. But I truly need to do this.

I'm going to miss you guys, Jim, Bobby..... like crazy. But I need to pull
myself together as I said. I have to! I hope I can still talk to you if I
need an ear in all this. I'll either talk to or e-mail Bobby for when he
comes home. I know he'll be so disappointed about New Years. But I had no
control over that. While I'm doing this.... I'll still be here if anyone
needs me for anything. You're probably annoyed with me by this point? Ok
talk to you later. Send my love to everyone.

I better go now.
Love Tiff

---End Email
Also in MY inbox, I had this message when I got home
---Start Email
Hey Sweetie

Glad to see you're back home (since you're reading this). Loves!

I've e-mailed your mom a couple of times and let her know what's been going
on. I don't what she's told you about that so far.

When I came home. Yea it was pretty ugly. I was so upset. If you want to
know details I'm sure you can ask your mom a little bit. But in the end ....
it was you have to make a decision right now! So I told them about you. But
the whole thing was pretty ugly.

I'm not ready. I can't make any choices in my life right now. I'm so messed
up right now. Not just with love either.

The decision is yours. And I will understand if you don't accept this. But I
need time to myself. I tried to do that once.... but that didn't happen to
well. I'm not allowed to come for New Years, or during break at all anyway.
But I can't see you right now, and talk with you right now. As extremely
hard as that may be. I need to do this for myself. I need to figure out what
is best for me right now. You can give me that time, or you can say I've had
enough. I've put you through enough sweetie. But I know this is what I need
to do - I need this time alone - to sort everything out. I can't keep making
promises. That's one this I always hated - someone breaking a promise to me.
And here I am - I keep doing it. When I saw you again, and got so scared - I
wanted nothing more than to be with you. But it's the same way around the
other corner. Now that's screwed up!

I love you and miss you a lot. I hope you understand this time is what I
truly need to do. I can't rush into anything. You can let me know if you can
do that for me, if you want to let me know. If you need me - I'll be here
Bobby. I love you very much - bunches in fact. We're not apart, we're not
together. We are Tiff and Bob right now. I miss you, hugs and kiss.

Love always
---End email

Now, please not the use of the words "sweetie" and "love" .... what does that mean? I dont understand why she played these games with me. She was SURE of what she wanted... she was SURE many times..... now all of a sudden she wants to take time. I'm hurt, crushed, and shattered. I wish she would have just stayed home when I was in the hospital.... at least she wouldnt have reopened the wound..... what she did to me was completely wrong..... now.... there is the possibility of forgiving her, but I dont think she'll want to come back to me..... I dont think that she really loves me. I know I love her to death.... but it's a two way street and apparently the happiness I had in the last year was only one way. Apparently I am not as special as she thought I was. Apparently there is plenty wrong with me.... and, oh yea... now I'm a "mental paitient" .... Guys, I need prayer. I learned some tips in the hospital to getting through this.... they changed some of my medicine.... but the problem is still there and it hurts like hell. I cant get through this on my own.

Well, I have made this way long enough.... tonight is my first night back in the real world and I'm going to sleep soon.... WITHOUT that damn wolf!

Just wanted to let everyone know that I was released from mental health today. I will be posting a much longer blog tonight that I hope everyone will read. I'm on my way to bowling now. I am returning to all of my normal activities now and returning to work on Jan 2nd.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

I am now on my way to westmoreland hospitals er because they have mental health services. They will evaluate me and determine whether or not to keep me. I was able to get a hold of matt and he is going to take care of everything at work. I feel so bad. I feel that I've put too much on matt and patty at work... I feel like I ruined everyones christmas. My parents aren't happy about this mental health thing but I need to take care of myself. I wish they were supportive.... I need them. I don't have the person I need in my life right now so I really need someone else. I have my bible bear that steve (my manager) got me for christmas with me. I'm glad I have that... I needed something to replace the wolf tiff gave me. I'm scared... I've never been like this before. Please pray for me. If I do get admitted you can call my mom for updates. Thanks for your prayers and support.
Its now 7:40pm ... I was just released from the emergency room. Again, panic attacks. This time I had other problems.... I had a lot of twitching. Apparently the problem is now affecting my nervous system. I am apparently way out of control. And of course I'm down because I feel like I ruined everyones christmas. Its not fair that I have to go through this shit. Tho I wouldn't act upon it, I really wish I was dead. Seriously tho... I am not depressed like previous times. Wishing I was dead is not a result of depression. I'm just really heartbroken. The lithium and prozac is doing its job quite well. Now we just gotta get through the anxiety. Ill be ok.... Its just that I gave my heart away and got it back in parts.
So now I'm laying in the back room at my grandmas with tear upon tear running down my face.... Echoes of laughter coming down the hall... No on even realizes I'm gone. I hate my life.
Here's what I got this morning for Christmas:

Lite-ON DVD Burner
Li-Ion Battery for my thinkpad (laptop)
Linksys Wireless Access Point (802.11b)
Linksys Wireless PCMCIA Network Card (802.11b)
50 Blank DVDs
100 Blank CDs
Rumblin Mystery Machine (scooby doo)
Rocky and Bullwinkle Season 1 DVD
New Lock Haven Universitry Hoody
Scooby Doo Ornament
Veggie Tales DVD
Robin Williams Live on Broadway DVD
"He Came to Set the Captives Free" book
A down throw
a mall gift certificate
and cash

so I'm pretty satisfied.... the only thing is there was one thing I wanted for Christmas REALLY bad that I didnt get: Tiffany
My heart is so broken.....

So in other news, my aunt is in the hospital... so her and Roger arent coming to Christmas.... this is a good thing.... but apparently my uncle is no longer welcome at my grandmother's for Christmas.... this is a long story that I might share later.... I wish I could run to Tiff with that problem.... but I guess that era of my life is over.

No panic attacks so far today.... so far :(

I'm gonna *TRY* to have a Merry Christmas..... but I doubt it.
Well it's Christmas..... by almost an hour.
Everyone, I'm not doing so well. Last night I was in the ER for a few hours..... they wanted to admit me but I didnt let them. Right now I wish I would have. Today was the worst. I had to call Matt in.... I felt so bad but I just couldnt take anymore. I was having a full blown panic attack. Some how I managed to still function.... it was hard.... and I swear ALOT of customers thought I was drunk. My chest hurt from about 10am until.... maybe 6pm.... It was the worst attack I ever had. Well I ended up having to call the doctor..... she told me to quadruple my dose of the anxiety medicine they just gave me.... it totally wiped me out.... when I did finally come to, I felt a bit better but my mind was still racing. Kendra came over for a bit.... I cried on her shoulder ALOT.... truth is, I'm in love with Tiffany. She is/was the perfect person for me and what we had.... I dont know what to think really.... I mean.... true love doesnt give up..... at least I dont think so.... but she seems to have..... but on the other hand, how do I doubt that we didnt have true love. And then to top all of this off.... everyone keeps making fun of Tiff and putting her down.... ok, I have names for Tiff right now.... what she did was wrong and yes, I think she is an asshole for doing it.... but some of the things people were saying about her.... I couldnt handle.... and that just makes it even worse on me.... somaybe they are trying to help me.... Tiff is extremely immature in this, but thats it.... shes still the perfect little girl I fell in love with. Well, I'm going to go to bed and cry a little bit... like I have the last few nights.... and probably will for the next few weeks. I was looking so forward to new years.... I tried everything to make it perfect for me and tiff. Ahh, the hell with it....

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Great night of skiing! That was about all. It actually gave me a lot of time to think which was really good.... I'm glad I went. There were some rough points. About my third lift ride a couple was in the chair in front of me and they put their arms around each other and cuddled up the whole ride.... it really made me think of when I took Tiff skiing... how much I enjoyed teaching her and doing something with her that she really enjoyed.... yes, I almost cried.... but the feeling passed. Dont get me wrong, I am ok.... this just really hurts.... it hurts like hell. And no one, including Tiff, knows how much it does hurt. But more than that, I'm angry. Dont really know who Im angry at but I am. I guess some of it is towards Tiff.... there are times I just want to get online and send her an email that just says "your an asshole" .... and then other times I realize that thats not me.... but then again I'm changing again. The whole way back from skiing I was listening to the X.... I dont listen to that music.... but I did tonight.... Tiff started shaping me into the person I wanted to be.... she gave me a reason to become a better person but now I have no motivation. I'm REALLY upset tho that she lied to me. When this whole thing started again I told her I was a little worried about getting hurt again and she PROMISED me that she wouldnt do it again. She told me she did it too many times already.... and that she wasnt going to do it again. Big fat lie... here I am heartbroken and it's her fault. Yes, I am gonna make it. I'm doing fine.... but, it hurts like hell.... and its going to for a while.
This is going to be a short blog..... I've got a nice little headache. So anyway, here is the recap.
Yesterday, after not hearing from Tiff at all I decided to call her..... so she answers the phone.... I say "hey tiff" and she hangs up on me. Ok, so..... she's not the person I thought she was. We had a relationship built on honesty.... and loving relationship I thought.... apparently, it was all lies.... at least Im not the immature one.... I'll be fine without her.... I've been throuhg alot of shit in my life and this is really nothing.... I'll make it.... I went out last night to the Christmas party..... I had no ties.... I was again allowed to drink.... I had a blast.... and I did it all without Tiff!

Monday, December 22, 2003

I prayed a bit last night and over night God calmed me down. There is a REALLY good chance that I am jumping to conclusions. It's really rough for me sometimes because of my past. I'm not trying to use that as an excuse but it just always has seemed like bad stuff happens to me in relationships and I get worried easily. The thing I have to understand is that whatever is happening is happening for a reason. I love Tiffany with all of my heart. I want to spend my life with her and I know that we would be happy together... and I know that she knows that too.... so I am probably jumping to conclusions. This is really rough on me.... but I'll make it. I've been through worse. God will take care of me. Tiff, if you are reading this I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart. Everything that I wrote wasnt that I didnt or dont trust you but more of a panic.... I have no reason to doubt you. Please understand that this is hard for me. We will be happy together and I want to do whatever to make this work. Please email me or call me soon. I love you!
So anyway today is a long day for me. I work 8am to 7pm and then I leave from there to go to our Christmas party. Hopefully I can relax and just have a good time.... Im glad that it is today.... I need something to cheer me up. Ideal situation would be Tiff showing up at Pizza Hut around 6 and saying "I'm here... lets go to the party" ... I know the chances are slim... but it would be nice.
My heart cant take it! I cant be hurt again.... Lord, please dont let it happen! Why must I fall in love and always be hurt by it.... why me? PLEASE help me! I want someone here to dry the tears that I am crying.... I need someone in my life.... I must be doing something wrong. Please someone cheer me up.... I need your prayers.... I cant take another heart break.... I've been through too much in my life. I'm gonna go cry some more and try again to sleep.... why cant someone be here to dry my tears?

Sunday, December 21, 2003

11pm.... home from work.... no email from tiff.....
I'm not going to say what I want to say right now..... I'm just gonna go cry for a while and then get to sleep.
Ok so I am at work and blogging (sorry steve, we're dead and I NEED to blog)

I'm getting really frustrated right now..... I still have not heard from tiff. My mom knew I was down so she called tiff to try to get information to cheer me up. She failed... Miserably. Not only did tiff not really give her any information but there were guys talking in the background. No doubt jim is there.... Which in it's self doesn't bug me but the fact that she was online yesterday and couldn't spend one min to tell me that she loved me.... Everything together bugs me. I don't know the situation but with my history and my luck it would fit for something to have happened between her and jim.... So ok... I'm jumping to conclusions but.... Oh I don't know.... Its just that I deserve it.... I mean I split up tiff and jim... I caused tiff to cheat on jim.... It wasn't intentional but it still happened..... This is killing me. But I deserve it. No I don't know what's going on.... Maybe everything is fine..... I'm just saying I deserve for something bad to happen to me. I hope everything is fine..... But who knows... Maybe her mom is causing problems but if this is the way its gonna be.... Well.... I just don't know how much I can take. I can't wait to get home and sleep... Maybe fit a good cry in too.....
Dangit people.... Quit asking me about tiff.... I haven't heard from her yet... I know she's back and that's it for right now.... This is starting to bug me.... So just stop it. I'm gonna try to enjoy the rest of church now.... Hopefully no one else will ask!

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Ski ing (ske'ing) 1. n. the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.

What an amzing week we had. We arrived in Lack Placid somewhere around 11am on sunday. Lori and I decided that we wanted to ski that day while Kelly and John just wanted to relax so we went and picked up our lift tickets and Lori and I went out skiing. Now, note this about me. I am a decent skier but I dont know much about the equipment used. Typically when I went skiing, I went to the rental shop and they gave me what I needed. So, when I bought skis for me, Lori, and Tiff, I didnt have an extremely good idea of what I was doing. I knew a little about lengths and such but that was about it. Since Lori hadnt skied in about 9 years she wanted to head to the bunny slope to get some practice before we went up the hill. I was quite embarrased when she made it down on the first shot and I fell about 4 times on the bunny slope. I really had no idea what was going on. Later I found out that the skis I bought myself were not parabolic, which is what rental shops give you. The skis I bought were designed for advanced skiers and have a completely different turning radius. This is actually good. Once I got used to my skis I liked the way they performed alot better than the parabolic onces. It worked out well because it turns out I bought lori and tiff parabolics and myself non-parabolics.... Lori and Tiff needs those skis, I dont. After a few runs down the bunny slope, I got the hang of it and Lori and I were ready to go up the mountain. We got on another lift and started riding up..... I didnt think it was ever going to end. It was probably about a 10 min ride up.... it just kept going.... and Lori and I were both thinking it was over... we were dead.... turns out, we were close to being right. When we got the top we didnt see any green circles (for those of you who arent familiar with skiing, green circle means easiest, blue square is next, and the black diamond is the worst and then they go up from there to double and triple black diamond). We ended up going down a blue square path.... I wasnt worried but Lori was. We started down the slope and conditions were pretty icy.... this was not good for our first real run of the day. Both Lori and I were going at pretty fast speeds, we hit a steep part and ahead we ... well, we really didnt know where to go.... about 5 trails came together and like 3 split apart from there. I semi-intentionally fell because I didnt know where to go. As I wiped out I heard a scream from behind me. This was Lori. Next thing I know I look out of the corner of my eye and Lori is rolling down the hill, then slides and stops pretty much right beside me. We turn around and look to see our skis about 50 feet up the mountain... Ok, so now we know our bindings are working properly :) At that point Lori got yelled at by another skier because she wasnt good enough to ski.... I didnt really get that because ... well, I wont go there.... it did upset me though. From that point Lori and I found a green circle and continued down the mountain that way. By the time we got to the bottom, we were shot. Not only did the wipe outs take alot out of us but we had just been driving all night. We all went to the motel and got settled and took a nap.
The next day was pretty much a full day of skiing for all of us. We went back up the mountain and this time found a green circle down and went that way. Nothing extremely exciting happened today other than Lori and I found a jump.... I made the jump a couple times and eventually convinced Lori to try it.... she wiped out but was still glad that she tried it. That night we went back to the motel, went next door to the grocery store and got stuff to drink and a pack of cards and we played cards all night. This was of course after the almost 3 feet of snow fell. It made great skiing conditions for that day but was a heck of a time getting around. It was really awesome though!
The next day Lori, John, and Kelly decided they were going to snow board. I, being the smart one, decided to stay on skis. For the first half of the day I left my poles gloves and everything at the bottom of the bunny slope and skied only with a camera, taking pictures of everyone falling. It was actually great fun for me. After a while I decided to head up the mountain. This is where I finally became the skier that I remembered being. I was skiing down blue squares... very hard ones at that, without falling. I even did the slope that Lori and I wiped out on... no problems. After this day Kelly and John decided to snow board the rest of the trip. Lori went back to skis and her and I kinda stuck with each other alot, until I went back up the mountain to ski some more blue squares.
The next day was Thursday.... this was the day I almost died. I had decided that since I was back to the skiing ability I had, I was going to climb little whiteface and ski down it. If I remember right, the elevation of little whiteface is about 3800 feet. There is a gondola that traveled from the lodge up to the summit which we all rode up (without equipment) previously to just see the sites and then rode back down. Thursday, the day I decided I was going to do this, it was windy and they had to close the gondola down. When we went up before there was a ski lift that came right up beside the gondola. I noticed that another ski lift was running and it appeared that that lift went up to little whiteface.... it didnt. I got off the lift and realized I had NO clue where I was at. I asked the lift attendant what the easiest way down was.... he kinda just looked at me.... I said "they are all black diamonds, arent they" and he shook his head. He told me my best bet was probably going down the center slope. I tried... I really did try.... after wiping out twice before I made it 5 feet, I decided that I was going to slide down the slope on my butt.... I figured this was safest. I used my one pole to release the binding on my first ski... and yes, you guessed it... my ski took off down the mountain. It went about half way down the slope. Now not only am I going to have to slide down the mountain but Im going to have to aim myself so that I can pick up my ski. While holding my other ski, I release that binding and in just a few seconds I'm off... sliding down the slope, on my butt, out of control. When I say out of control, I mean OUT OF CONTROL! I was extremely scared. I couldnt stop myself at all. Finally I hit my ski that had went down before me and it stopped me. About half way down the slope I saw a path that went through the woods that had a blue square on it.... I chose this route. By this point, my ankles hurt extremely bad. I made it over to the main blue square path and skied down the mountain and met up with Lori and Kelly. I told them my adventure and they laughed... for quite a while. This was our last day of skiing. We were to check out of our motel at 10am on Friday. I decided that Lori and I were going to get up at 7am so I could be at whiteface by 8am so I could take one ride up the gondola and one run down the mountain. I did this.... and I did it well. I fell twice but they were stupid falls and mainly caused because I didnt know where I was going. I made it down the entire mountain with only 2 falls and having complete control It was awesome and I was glad that I went back to experience it. We drove back to the motel, loaded up the van, checked out, and we were off to town. We made one last stop in town to get a few things and then began our drive back to Lock Haven.
It was an awesome trip. Some great skiing! We did some other things... once night we went to see "Mystic River" which was a pretty good movie. We did some shopping down town in Lake Placid.... and played alot of cards and watched alot of TV. We had an AMAZING trip. Hopefully we can do the same thing next year.

Friday, December 19, 2003

So I lived...
We are now on our way back from vacation.... Maybe about an hour south of albany right now. We had an excellent time... We all tempted fate many times but no one got hurt.... And I sure came close to getting ded. Ill explain all about my trip in a blog tomorrow.
The thing on my mind right now is Tiff. She will be back in PA tonight.... And her mom and jim are picking her up at the airport. Now don't get me wrong I'm not worried but I still think its stupid. Its gonna bug jim and its gonna put Tiff in an awkward position. I also think that this may have something to do with tiffs mom trying to get her back with jim.... Its just stupid... So yea, it bugs me.... Its just been on my mind the whole trip home.
Well, I'm gonna relax while lori is driving for a while here. When I get home (late tonight) ill probably fill the parents in on my trip, check my email, and go to bed. I should be able to post a nice blog about my trip tommorrow.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Well I think I was wrong about the internet access on my palm in lock haven.... I had a signal but it wasn't a t mobile signal so my internet didn't work
we are now driving through albany. We will probably be stopping at mcdonalds soon :)
not much has happened since my last blog so I'm gonna go back to sleep (its ok, kelly is driving)
Well I am at Lock Haven right now waiting for Kelly's boyfriend to get here and waiting for Lori to finish packing. I'm extremely excited to go skiing.... this is going to be great... I wish I didnt have to drive 7 1/2 more hours to get there tho..... but, it'll be worth it.
I'm really glad that the wedding is over with. It was not good for me to be there. I left the reception at about 3 and got to bed by 3:30 so I got a good 6 hours of sleep in... the good news is that my plan worked well. I was able to stay up all night Friday night.
Another weird thing going on.... my palm has access here at Lock Haven. On T Mobile's coverage map it shows that there is no coverage ANYWHERE around here. I was also talking to Gene when we went to Eat N Park and he has a T Mobile phone and he said that he has yet to find somewhere that it doesnt work... and he drives out of state alot. This could be a good sign! Maybe I'll have access up in NY.... so then, I'll be able to keep posting :) (Steve will be happy).
Well, I'm not gonna post anymore at the moment. I was gonna just whine about the wedding but I decided not to... its over with.... dont care to think about it anymore.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Well I am actually sitting in the church right now. I feel completely wrong for being here. This is just so immoral and totally not right. I knew I'd be upset but I was not expecting to feel like this. This is sooo not right. I don't care what reasons I had for coming to this thing but it doesn't matter... I should not be here.... At all. There should be no wedding... I am at a wedding and I feel like its a funeral. Oh good, here is the music..... This sucks
Almost 6am.... about 9 hours till I can go to sleep.... and yes, it is for the best... trust me :)
Today, last night, whatever..... I bowled out since Jack is going away as well and we only have one sub.... I bowled really well... I had a 160, a 238, and a 209... I had a 607..... I dont think ive ever had a 600..... im usually not consistant at all.... if I did have a 600, I dont remember it... hehe
Work went well.... then we (me, matt, rudy, gene) went to eat n park after we closed to hang out for a while... of course me and gene got into the microsoft vs linux argument.... he accuses me of being biased towards linux... well, ok... I guess I am... but what I dont think he realizes is he is biased towards MS... oh well.... its all in fun... even tho he is wrong :)
I bought a Christmas tree for my room tonight... its all set up now.... after eat n park I went back to the hut so I could write the next schedulel... well.... I think state-of-the-art is synonymous with peice-o-shit..... I sign into our FMS (computer) and go to labor scheduling and it tells me that that function cant be performed until the next day..... for the heck of it, I called the help desk.... the said that running a start of day and forcing it into the next business day MAY work but probably wouldnt.... I tried it... it didnt work.... gotta go back there in an hour (7am) when the computer will finally let me write the schedule.... crazy stuff.
I dont want to go to this wedding today..... I dont support my aunt.... at all.... not to mention I would like it if I could go to bed around 1 and sleep till 9 that way we could head to Lock Haven a bit early.... Lori didnt pack for the trip and all her stuff is still in Lock Haven... and I just find this out.... *sigh* ... it's a little too late now tho.... I'm hoping to be in bed around 3:30pm..... then I'll sleep till like 9:30... that'll give me six hours which is usually plenty for me.... that means we can get on the road around 10pm or so and make it to Lock Haven around 12:30....then from there its about a 7 1/2 hour drive up to White Face..... then we're skiing the same day... i'll be beat Sunday night....
Ok, thats enough blogging for now.... I'm gonna.... I dunno... find SOMETHING to do to occupy me for another hour.

Friday, December 12, 2003

And here is my blog....
Tonight I clocked out with 13.76 hours for the day... now that just is cool :) .... the day went really well. I really like doing this open-close thing. Of course, EVERYTHING always breaks when I'm working... today it was our game machine and our walk in cooler.... the game machine was rather funny.... thanks to Barb. It's too hard to explain in a blog tho... if you are really serious about knowing... ask me.

Also, I have been debating putting the option to leave comments on my blog..... if anyone would like this ability, email me and let me know.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

And so starts my long day.....
I'll be leaving soon for work for my 13 hour shift :) ... Doesnt bug me though... I'm getting my hours in before vacation so thats good.... actually, I prefer these crazy long shifts anyway.... seems like I get more done and it's more worthwhile.... maybe thats just me.
I cant believe we are leaving for skiing in just a few days.... I cant wait... I need a vacation bad. Its only been 4 years.
Even more unbelievable is that my baby is coming home in just a few weeks.... I'll get to see her in about 3 weeks.... which, yes, it's still too long but at least it's getting closer. Gosh do I miss her! It's gonna be so great to spend time with her.... I love her so much!

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Microsoft Sucks!
So I get this remote control for my computer (my computer is my dvd player, tv, stereo, etc - so I almost need it). Anyway, it uses a USB receiver to receive the IR signals from the remote. There are 2 USB ports on the back of my computer. Before the remote one went to my USB hub, and the other to my Handspring Sync Cable. Since the remote is more stationary I figured i'd move my handspring to the hub and plug the remote into the USB port on the back of my computer. This is simple, right? The U stands for Universal... meaning that any device can be plugged into any port and it will function. That is, apparently, unless you are using an MS product as your OS. The remote worked fine.... when I went to sync my handspring tonight it failed. It only took me approx 30 mins to get it working. Apparently since I moved USB ports, Windows detected it as a new device. This typically isnt a big deal as you just tell it to look for the drivers and it will find them already installed on the hard drive. Apparently, this is too easy. For some reason Windows would copy the driver files overtop of themselves (this is normal - stupid, but normal) and then tell me that the services were locked and that installation has failed. I turn off HotSync manager... maybe that was locking them? No luck. Ok, so I havent rebooted my computer in well over a week... maybe thats the solution.... no luck.... go into device manager and tell it to show hidden devices.... Handspring doesnt exsist in it. Press the hotsync button and it shows up for a couple seconds and goes away (when the handspring gives up). What the heck? Reinstall the software..... hit the hotsync button..... found new hardware... ok, now we're getting somewhere...... and of course, the service or whatever is locked. The solution? I had to load up the device manager..... press the hotsyn button and immediately right click the handspring device entry and select uninstall before the handspring gave up and the entry dissappeared again... amazingly, I got this on the first shot. After I uninstalled the driver, I then reinstalled it and FINALLY I was able to sync my data....
Ok, as for today.... nothing really exciting. I worked a 2:30-close shift but the day went so long.... normally long shifts seem to go fast for me... I guess because of the attitude that I go in there with... most of the time I would rather work a 10 or 12 hour shift than a 7 or 8. Tonight was just really slow. We forecasted really low and STILL didnt hit sales. Then the carpet cleaners came so I ended up just sitting around waiting for them....
Since I didnt blog last night, I didnt give you my bowling scores... and I know everyone is dying to hear them.... (by the way steve, what have you been doing since I have missed a few posts?) ... I did really well Monday night..... my team didnt..... we won 2 out of the 7 points.... I had a 173, 179, and a 189. I actually probably should have done alot better... I just got tapped alot.... so many 10 pins for me.... oh well.
Anyway, I work a 1:30-close shift tommorrow so I'm gonna get my butt in bed... I wanna get up early anyway so I can talk to Tiff.

Friday, December 05, 2003

12-05 [18:31] Cphobes: Got a snow blower and greg's first question to me was "that thing got a hemi???"...gotta love it...

I had to post that.... that's Steve (my friend in Mass) and Greg is his little boy. Speaking of snow blowers... WOW

Currently we have 8 inches... and it is still snowing. I think we were like $700-$800 down on sales tonight. I was sending people home left and right and we still had too many people. By 9:00 I think we were down to 3 people (which is the minimum to run the store). The drive home was amazing.... besides sliding off the road three times and doing a 180.... it went well :) ... what a night.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Smile- Chris Rice

How far are you, how close am I
I know your words are true and I don't feel them inside
Still I believe you'll never leave
So where are you now

You're all I have, You're all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am gasping, aching, asking
Where are you now

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

My journey's here, but my heart is There
So I dream and wait, and keep the faith, while You prepare
Our destiny, til You come back for me
Oh, please make it soon!

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feel like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feel like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

QDB: Quote #157124
For the first time in quite a few months I am not able to fall right asleep. This used to be a serious problem for me but has been under control for a while. I dont think the problem is resurfacing, this is just a bad night. My mind keeps racing about the whole Jason thing. I am really hurt. I keep thinking about what I should do to fix the situation.... but, what can I do? I need to put Pizza Hut above eicomm.... Alot has been going through my mind about it.... Im thinking of telling Jason that he should maybe find someone else to do his contract work. I dont want to do that.... I really enjoying doing the work for eicomm.... and I can definately use the money.... but, I dont want it to get between our friendship. Years ago I lost a best friend over a computer job.... I dont want it to happen again. That other person was not a Christian... Jason is.... so I hope that it doesnt come to that. I just hope that Jason rethinks what he said to me. I dont understand how he can call me unreliable.... I've done alot of work for eicomm.... when customers had problems and couldnt get a hold of jason, I took care of the problem as best I could... or at least calmed the customer down until they could get ahold of jason. Many times he needed something done in a weeks notice and I worked with Steve (my manager) at Pizza Hut to figure out how to rearrange the schedule so that I could help Jason out. I think that Pizza Hut and myself has been extremely fair and accomodating.... but December is just a bad month. I realize that Jason doesnt really understand what its like to work for someone.... especially in the food service industry (in december)..... but I wish he would at least try to understand. This is not my fault... is it? I cant risk my full time job over a one day a month job.... it just doesnt make sense.... but if I lose a friendship over this..... *sigh* I'm gonna go try to sleep some more.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

This day has, for the most part, sucked.
I didnt go to lunch with Jim and Jason today because Jason really pissed me off. He wants me to go down to VA for him in the next couple of weeks and it just isnt going to happen. I am finally going on vacation... the first one for me in about 4 years. As a result I had to fight for days off at work... plus for new years eve and day so I could spend time with Tiff. Steve at work has bent over backwards for me and I really appriciate it. I cant request anything else off this month... its the worst month to do anything.... its our busiest. Jason had the chance to have me full time and he passed it up. I'm not bitter over that at all.. it probably all worked out for the best.... but he needs to realize that he doesnt have me full time. He then continue to call me unreliable and then told me that I just didnt want to go down to VA for him. Far from the case. I could use the money and would love to go down there but I cant risk my full time job for a job that I do once I month. I dont want to lose my work for eicomm, but I have to give Pizza Hut the priority. And if Jason gets sore over this, thats just sad. Steve has already changed schedules to free up time for me to go down to VA for Jason. I think that Pizza Hut has been MORE than fair... it just isnt going to work this time... and for him to put words in my mouth... thats just wrong. Jason has said things before that have upset me... the situation with tiff upset me.... but its ok because I understood where he was coming from.... this is the first time that he ever actually hurt me. I'm really upset and crushed at this point. It's not easy when you are hurt by one of your best friends.
That was just the main thing... there are other situations including the present I bought for Tiff, and the vacation it's self.... Lori wants me to request the 20th off too now.... this all goes right back to the Pizza Hut thing.... I cant just ask for another day off... I talked to Steve and he wants me to try everything to work on the 20th... I cant blame him... he's done enough already.... I just hope I'm not pissing him off with this.
I just want to crawl in a hole right now and ignore that people exsist.... I wish Tiff was here... I could really use some time with her.....

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

And today President Bush himself took a shot at Pittsburgh's roads! For those who dont know, Bush visited Pittsburgh today and at one point in his speach he said that one thing he would do as mayor of this city is fill the pot holes....

Nothing really exciting happened today.... I did pick up me and Lori's skis. My skis ended up not costing me as much as I thought they were going to. We are less than 2 weeks away from our ski trip... I cant wait. Other than getting my skis, today was just a typical day off.

Anticipation is also building for Tiff to come home. We both feel that we can not live apart any longer.... kinda reassures me... its less than a month and she'll be in my arms!
160, 196, 157.... This is the first night in a long time that I ended up getting my average all 3 games. I am very satisfied with the way I bowled. My team won 5 of the 7 points, so we're happy about that too.
I really dont have much more to say so I'm gonna say "I LOVE TIFFANY" and then get myself to bed. My sinuses are bugging me pretty bad.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Disney faces critics at opportune time, analysts say
Its about time someone stands up to Eisner. Disney is getting out of hand. This article doesnt show the content of a letter from Roy to Eisner but it gives a run down of whats going on. Go, Roy, Go!
Wow... thats all to be said after tonight. We did over $1600 in sales today.... thats about $400 over our forecasted plan... and we were short a person because someone called off. Not only did he call off, but he was the closer so after around 8:15, me and Diana were the only people working.... while trying to clean up after the disaster that struck earlier. It was not pretty. Typically from 5-6pm on a Sunday we will do around $200 in sales at which point we have 5 people working in the store.... tonight we did $416 with 4 people in the store. It was a crazy night. Well, I have to be back there at 11:30 tomorrow so I'm gonna get myself to bed. Good night.

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Just got home... fun night... hehe
We got everything at Pizza Hut decorated for Christmas... we were really getting into the Christmas spirit.... it was me, Matt, Diana, and Tim. We had a good time.... and put HOURS into it. Tim and I mainly worked on the outside lights while Matt and Diana worked inside. Yea, it was a bit cold, but we had a good time. I think the place looks really nice.

Now for the main story.... Steve finally got me back.
At about 2pm (I start work at 3), I get a call from Steve saying that a customer decided to get the store a Christmas present and was getting it gift wrapped but they didnt have time to wait for it so we had to go pick it up. He asked me to go in and pick it up on my way to work. Now, remember, this is the Saturday after Thanksgiving... the mall is not a pretty place to be... so anyway I venture my way into the Bon Ton and eventually make my way to the gift wrap center. I wait in line for quite some time and then I finally get to the person and I tell her I was supposed to pick up something for Pizza Hut. She says oh, ok and calls someone else.... I thought that was odd.... but anyway this other person comes down and goes to the back to get what I have to pick up... there, wrapped in clear celephane is Steve's bear..... and she says "Steve wanted to make sure you get this" .... I shook my head, said "I'm gonna kill him" and everyone laughed..... so I made my way down to Pizza Hut. Of course there were some good laughs as I was walking in.... honestly, I thought it was funny..... it really was an awesome prank... especially since its harder for the opener to pull a prank on the closer (which is usually the case with me and Steve)..... I give him mad props for pulling that off. So anyway, Steve gives me a list then. This list is a list of 5 things that the bear demands or "he" will continue torturing me. Included for your entertainment, is the list of those demands.

1. Apologize in your blog for abusing him.
2. Public apology in front of at least 5 Pizza Hut Employees
3. Must take the bear with you when you go out to eat. Buy him some porrigge or some honey.
4. Take the bear when you meet up with Tiffany next and explain that while she was away, another (the bear) made you feel better than she does. Then pull his string to prove it.
5. Tell her the (censored - insert the Christmas present I bought for Tiffany here - the one I think she's gonna kill me over) was teddy's idea.

So anyway, I have had a very entertaining day.... and then some.... so what is that... yesterday, today..... *shrug* ... it doesnt matter... we had fun.... It's nice to work in an enviornment where you can fool around alot.... and still get work done too, of course.

Well, its is now after 6am.... and I have to be back at the hut at 3... plus I'd like to get up early enough to talk to Tiff for a little bit... so I'm gonna head to bed. Good night everyone!

Friday, November 28, 2003

I'm nuts... officially.
I always buy everything online when I'm Christmas shopping.... this year so far has been no different. I bought 90% of my presents online. Today tho, is black friday.... the day when stores try to lure you in with amazing sales. A DVD Burner for $80... yea, that caught my attention. I told Mom & Dad thats what I wanted for Christmas. Around 5:30 this morning my dad calls me and says he just drove by Best Buy because he was going to get that burner for me for Christmas. He said he just kept on driving because there is no way that he would have been able to stand in line to get it. After thinking hard about it, I decided that I would drive in and get it. Dad gave me his credit card, and off I went. Let me take this moment to say.... NEVER AGAIN! I now know why I do my Christmas shopping online... and why I never venture out on black friday. There was no room in Best Buys parking lot.... I ended up finding a spot.... at McDonald's down the street. Started walking over.... once I made it in the door the fun began, trying to get to the shelf where the dvd burners were. No joke I was fighting people standing in line.... the line to checkout was weaved in and out of different aisles... it was nuts. Finally made it to the shelf, and, no more on the shelf. I asked someone and they said that they probably had more but I had to ask someone else. Found someone else and he said they may have some more at the computer counter..... the line for the computer counter was from the front of the store, clear to the back of the store. It was at this moment that I gave up. It then took me 5 mins to get out of the store because I had to dodge people left and right. I learned an important lesson today.... not only did I learn that I should stay home on black friday, I also learned that people are stupid... and for a brief moment this morning, I was one of them. Now that I have failed my attempt and learned my lesson, I'm going back to bed.

Thursday, November 27, 2003


I just want to list some of the things that I am thankful for. First and foremost I am thankful for Tiffany. I am thankful that God has brought such an amazing girl into my life and I'm thankful for the relationship that we have.... one that just keeps gettings stronger and stronger. I am thankful for my family.... everyone. I really have the best parents, sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc that I could ask for. God truly has blessed me with my family. I am thankful for my job at Pizza Hut. I am thankful that I have a job that I really enjoy and I am thankful for my coworkers. I am thankful that I have such a great manager who not only makes it fun to work but also cares about situations that arise... something that many managers dont care about. I couldnt ask for a better set of people to work with. Last but definately not least, I am thankful for what God has done in my life. I am thankful for my salvation and the promises that He has given me.

God Bless everyone on this special day!
Ok so dad taped the new information on the sci fi channel about the Kecksburg UFO incident..... Lori and I decided we wanted to watch it.... but since she didnt see the first one, we decided that it would be good to watch that one first. So we did.... then we started to watch the other one.... thank God for fast forward.... about 90% of the program was EXACT repeats of the previous show.... it was rather depressing.... and the new evidence they said they found since the last airing... yea, it was basically a 36 page document from NASA that said the same things that we already knew.... that was helpfull..... well, its now after 4am... we're eating at 12.... so I think I should now head to bed.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

And now, introducing the stars of tonight's blog: Matt Shafer and Steve Kruse :)

Tonight was a night of complete harrasment, but it's ok... I'll eventually get them back. Today our uniform shipment came in and I had ordered a gatsby to wear while I'm a cook.

Well, that went over like a lead baloon. I think its nice, but I was kinda expecting harrasment over it.... but what the heck, I'm unique... maybe this will make Steve quit scheduling me for cook shifts just so I dont wear that hat :) Yea, that wasnt the only thing they harrased me about. It seems like I couldnt say anything without some crazy comment.... At least Patti R. liked it.... someone was in my corner... of course when I got home Lori told me that I needed to take that thing off now.... *sigh* No one appriciates good style.... uh... yea, thats it. Everything at Pizza Hut is in good fun though.... I cant say that it bothers me that they harass me... I've just accepted the fact that I am the second most harrased person in that store... Sweet Chuck (Mike) is way above me so I dont think I'll be catching him.... tho, Vanetta might be catching up to me... especially if we get her to drink at the Christmas party...
"I'm not hungry, I'm HUUUNGRYYYY"

w00t... just got done watching my new "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas" DVD.... By far my favorite Christmas program and now that I finally got it on DVD, its even better :) ... Yes folks, it is now Christmas-time... I have seen my show!

The highlight of the moment is.... I'm not still at delivery. The night really didnt go too bad. In all honesty, I dont mind working at that store... it just seems to take so long for the night to end.... and yes, after my last post, we got hit again.... it never fails.... you get crushed for a while.... then its dead... totally dead.... then all of a sudden you get crushed again.... and usually after everyone is gone.

Well I am going to attempt to get up early enough to go pick up my skis in Monroeville..... hopefully I can get that done before meeting Jim and Jason for lunch.... gotta get to bed though. Nite nite!

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

I'm here at delivery.... Bored as usual. The nights always go so slow down here.... Hence why I have the time to blog. Down here its like customers gang up on you. About 2 hours ago no one knew which end was up.... Now.... Nothing. I think for a while I had like 8 deliveries on my screen and 2 drivers to take them all... That just sucks. Well its 8:30 and we close at 11 ... I'm gonna go..... Uhhhh.... Stare at the oven. Hopefully the customers won't gang up on me tonight like the usually do late at night.
Goobs. Comic 15
Uhh... I dont think I own software.... and my computer definately doesnt have a serial number..... (If you are an agent of the FBI, please disregard this post)

Monday, November 24, 2003

134, 167, 116.... Yea I sucked tonight. That last game... I struck out the 10th frame and still only got 116. Really bad.... We lost all 7 points too... Just a bad night. The bright side of the day is I ended the work week (pizza hut's week ends on monday) with over 7 hours of overtime.... Much needed.... That gives me over 12 hours of overtime for the pay period. I also got word today that I am going to get a raise... That, too, is much needed.
I'm currently bowling. Not doing incredibly well tonight.... (jack says yet).... Hopefully I get better this last game. I'm a little frustrated otherwise tho. Tiff was incredibly upset tonight. Of course it had something to do with Jim. I guess I kinda went off. I'm not blaming tiff for anything at all, I just wish jim was handling things a little different. I wish that me, tiff, AND jim could be friends.... That just isn't going to happen tho. I pray for jim every night. I wish the best for him... But this is just ridiculous. I blew up tonight because someone is hurting my baby and I don't like it at all. If jim really cared for tiff, he wouldn't be putting her through this. It just shows selfishness. I'm going to leave it at that. I don't get defensive.... Ever..... But tonight bugged me.
Don't take this post the wrong way. Tiff is very much in love with me and I am with her. Nothing is wrong between us... Its just someone is hurting my baby.
What Should I Do If The Internet Goes Down?
This is crucial information and since I am 65% addicted, I may be using this in the near future.
Crazy night... again. I'm not really sure what our sales were.... forgot to look, but I know for a while I was going crazy. 3 cooks tonight, 1 manager (me) and 2 servers.... the servers were busy and none of the cooks were trained on the cut table.... that made it pretty intense for me for about 20 mins straight. I had a serious back up.... for 20 mins I ran around like a mad man... a customer was waiting on his pizza.... just laughing at me.... everyone who was working there agreed that they have never seen anyone move so fast on the cut table.... In the 7 years i've worked for Pizza Hut, I dont think I have either.... it was insane. I actually was reviewing the sales and such for Friday and Saturday.... I was extremely impressed.
In other news, I added some pictures to my website and decorated it for Christmas. Go check it out!
I talked to Tiff for a little bit today... it was good to talk to her. I still miss her very much, but at least its down till about a month till I get to see her. I cant wait! Dont know if I'll get to talk to her tomorrow or not.... we shall see.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

What a night... if this is a taste of whats coming next week for black friday...well.... wow..... We were nearly $1k over on our sales for the day.... thats pretty intense. Diana and I punched out around midnight... Tim left a little earlier... maybe a little after 11:30.... since I had to wait on Diana I figured I'd finish everything up. It was really the same as yesterday only a little bit better. It was steady the whole way until almost close. We always had a table. Our store really needs a sales boost, so im not complaining... and I know the more money the store makes, the better chance I have at a raise. In all honesty, I like when its busy.... things go faster.... sure, it's stressful but it seems like the team we have (most of them) really respond well to stress. In many cases I think we have more fun when we're stressed... we kind of all enter this different mode. After we clocked out, Diana and I sat talking for a while. It was really good to talk to her. She talked alot about adam and seth and I talked alot about Tiffany. It made me feel alot stronger towards Tiff... on my way home I had to listen to our song.... it made everything feel real... almost like Tiff was in the car with me. I got home around 1am... maybe a little after. Got my pictures so I looked at them, then did some laundry (which is now finally finished) and now that it is almost 2:30am, I'm going to bed. I hope I can get up for church tomorrow.... gonna have to drag myself out.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

There's a fire outside.....
but it's controlled..... uhh... I think.
They are burning the pile of junk that has collaberate between my relatives.... I'm not exactly sure how our yard was chosen for this pile but at least its on it's way to non-exsistance now. I think I'm gonna get my shower, get dress, and enjoy this amazing scene until I have to go to work.

Friday, November 21, 2003

This is just a test. I'm blogging from hoss's... But my food is here so more later.
As I sit here, waiting for the Paper, Rock, Scissors Champion to come on Conan, I figured that I'd post a small blog. (For those confused,

I was quite heated today. We had 2 people call off today, and that's just crazy. Zach calling off wasnt really what bugged me though. It definately left us short, well... it actually made Matt stay longer.... but Sweet Chuck calling off was just unacceptable. The reason being, this is not the first problem we've had with him. I really have nothing against the kid. But, looking at this from a management prespective.... its just not acceptable. Something needs to be done... he needs written up, he needs his schedule changed.... something... it's just getting out of hand.

I guess that really is all that I have.... I will now go back to waiting for the RPS Champion.

(and oh yea... I love Tiffany)

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I scored a 89% on the "How Pittsburgh are you?" Quizie! What about you?
What a blast! We spent our $1000 from Pizza Hut tonight... umm, last night.... whatever you want to call it. We all went to the mall shopping (we each got $65 to spend) and then we went to Paul Monday's (a bar) to eat and hang out. It really was a great time. Me, Matt, Adam, and Diana left the bar somewhere around 2:30am and then went to Eat N Park to sit for a while... we had a good time there as well.... I got home after 4am... but who cares.... I cant stress how much of a good time we had. I didnt really know what to get at the mall so I ended up spending money on my most favorite thing in the whole world.... my baby! :)
Well, like I said, I got home LATE.... its time for bed. Goodnight!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Ok, I suppose its time to go to bed now.... almost 3:30am.
Bowling: I had a 157, 167, and a 244.... I was happy with that.
I think we won 5 out of 7 points, but im not sure.
Nothing else new is going on. We're spending out $1k tomorrow... should be fun... still dont know exactly what im going to buy. We'll see! Good night!

Sunday, November 16, 2003

This day actually went quite well.... althought my wal mart experience today was much worse than last night. I needed deodorant and a meal from the McDonald's.... this project took well over 20 mins. Apparently they dont believe in express lanes anymore and EVERYONE in that store was buying at least 50 items. It was crazy.
Work... well, over all it went pretty well. However, I'm a little upset. I was there for... maybe an hour or so... and Patti says "there's that solicitor, you better go throw him out" ... I looked out and sure enough this guy was going around tables asking for money... he wasnt even a customer. So I went to him and threw him out. When I came back, Patti explained to me that this was the third day that he had been there and that he had been early today too. After hearing this, I was pretty ticked. So I figured that I'd call around to the other local restraunts and see if he had been there. My results: He had been to Pizza Hut, Olive Garden, Old Country Buffet, Long John Silvers, Denny's, Ponderosa, Dingbats, and Valley Dairy.... and multiple times at each store. I decided that this warranted calling the state police.... so I did. When I talked to the officer, he didnt seem concerned at all and basically just told me stuff to get me off the phone. I was extremely upset at this. I realize that there isnt too much he could have done to catching the guy at that moment but he could have at least taken a report so it was on record as being a problem. This wasnt an isolated siutation. Eight restraunts and three days at each one.... that's a problem! The officer did tell me that if he came back I should imediately call them and have them come out and same with the other restraunts.... so I did call back all the other managers and recommended they called the state police tonight to complain (maybe if they got enough calls they would actually file a report) and I told them to leave notes for their other managers and let them know if he showed up to call the police immediately.... I really am ticked off about it though. The police are there to help us out. It's especially crazy that we usually give any officer at least a 50% discount and many times we give them free food. And now, when we need them, they dont want to be bothered. It just really upset me.
So anyway, thats about all that I have for tonight. I'm gonna head to bed soon. Goodnight everyone!
Just got done watching "Ghost in the Machine" -- it was, umm, interesting. Probably one of the most unrealistic sci-fi movies that I've seen, but entertaining at that. It was a bit on the cheesy side.

Time to gripe! If Wal-Mart really wants to help its customers, it needs to focus on check out. First, they could start out by hanging a sign at the front of each line with a new cashiere or just general moron. Secondly, they could be like Target and open up more lines when the crowd gets busier. I will admit, since the opening of the Delmont Wal-Mart, I have become more of a Wal-Mart shopper, that is, I actually go in there time and again. It's nice that there is a McDonald's right inside that you can order food from the wal mart check out line (this means you can get McDonald's food with a credit or debit card). By no means is it Target but the Delmont Wal-Mart is by far better than the s**t-hole they call Greensburg Wal-Mart.

Today was quite well. I didnt do much except talk to Tiff, which was fine by me. Things are alot better now that we got some things out in the open... again, I love the way our relationship is -- being open and honest about everything... it helps so much. I have also calmed down over last night's "cell phone incident" ..... I still feel that my cell phone is not an issue and that it is only comparable to cig breaks.... but, Im not pissed anymore :)

As much as I hate having days off because I do nothing but sit at home, today was really good for me. I needed a break -- some time just to chill and do nothing... and being able to talk to Tiff for hours upon hours, that was even better.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Upon further analysis, it is evident that I really am 100% in love and not the previously stated 96%. The 4% difference is a result of this question: Do you act differently around them? The answer I gave was "no" because I act just as I would around anyone else.... I dont feel I have to impress Tiffany. Apparently the quiz was looking for a "yes" response and that is why I lost 4%. This is a faulty question. So, after Tiffany and I both examined the evidence, we found that I really am 100% in love. :)
I scored a 96% on the "Are you in love???" Quizie! What about you?
11-15 [14:08] bobkmertz: but when you had something so repetitive.... its hard to beleive other wise sometimes
11-15 [14:09] bobkmertz: more than half of my other girls cheated on me
11-15 [14:09] bobkmertz: at least the ones who meant anything
11-15 [14:09] bobkmertz: that really makes you think there is something wrong with you
11-15 [14:09] bobkmertz: in many cases, people give up
11-15 [14:09] bobkmertz: I didnt
11-15 [14:10] bobkmertz: but that doesnt mean that I wasnt hurt by it
11-15 [14:10] Tiffs Wolf Dance: *looks into your eyes* .......makes me think there was something wrong with them.
11-15 [14:10] bobkmertz: *smiles*
11-15 [14:11] Tiffs Wolf Dance: ..... If they couldn't see what was right in front of their faces......
11-15 [14:11] Tiffs Wolf Dance: .....their loss..... my GAIN

Did I ever mention I love this girl? :)
Where do I start? Overall.... this day sucked!
It started out not so bad when Jason and I went to lunch.... when I got home Tiff and I continued our conversation and then I asked a "personal" question which started a discussion. This discussion is, of course, a very personal nature so im not revealing that.... but some things were said that kinda made me.... I dont know the word.... I wasnt upset or depressed or anything.... it just kinda bugged me.... now, dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong between me and Tiff.... things are great... and its these conversations and disagreements that I think make our relationship so special.... issues that most people overlook we face head on... and we keep honest with one another... and that is very important in a relationship.... the thing that sucked most about it is the conversation was no where near over and I had to leave for work.... I left feeling very down.... and actually, people noticed it at work right away (that I was down about something)... so anyway I tried my best to spring back.... typically Im VERY good at seperating personal from work.... but tonight it got to me for some reason... and it wasnt even like I was upset.... I was just down.... and a little confused..... a little while later Tiff text messaged me.... it actually cheered me up a bit.... and I was talking to her for a little bit..... then Patty came up with Steve and said something about me using my cell phone. First of all, I dont know if it was a joke by either of them or not.... after I visably was upset Patty said something about just joking.... I dont know how to take it.... I dont know if they were serious.... and then of course they had to throw the High Impact Coach thing in on it.... I'm starting to get a little sick of being a HIC.... I know everyone is joking... and in 2 days when the joke about it again, I will laugh and everything will be fine.... but because of the way the day was going, it really got to me.... tonight was just weird.... I usually take things so lightly... and I enjoy people messing around with me... but I guess first, I dont know if Steve and/or Patty were joking about the phone and second, I was down. I dont understand the thing with the phone though. I dont think its a problem.... and I dont think anyone else sees it as a problem either.... I specifically asked Matt about it and he said it wasnt a problem at all. First of all, if we are crushed, Tiff doesnt get a message back.... she knows that.... thats the way it is... work comes first.... secondly, sending a text message takes about 5-10 seconds.... and usually its a few mins before I would get another one from her anyway.... and I am working the entire time. The people who smoke go out a couple times a night for 5-10 mins.... this is on the clock time and they are doing nothing.... at least when I am texting, I am still working.... Lets figure a person has 2 cig breaks at 6 mins each... thats 12 mins of time on the clock of not working.... now that is 720 seconds.... divide that by 10 seconds a message and you get 72... so mathematically, I can send 72 messages (there is no way i'd ever reach that) and equal the time that an employee is smoking... so am I out of line? I personally dont think so. I dont let it get to a critical point.... and the thing about texting... its not like being on the phone where you have to give a response right away.... I respond, when I have time.... how many people take personal calls while at work or call people at work and that totally pulls them away from their job.... which, dont get me wrong, I'm not complaining about.... cig breaks are ok, taking phone calls is ok.... I just think its only fair that someone who doesnt smoke and doesnt take phone calls can have a little bit of an incentive. I'm not the only person with a cell phone either.... ok, so they are "banned" in our region... but at every store.... every area manager.... they all use them. The memo said that area coaches were included in the ban.... when I was at HIC, the trainer took multiple phone calls in the middle of training... was he wrong? no, he needed those calls.... but is it fair that AC's talk on their phone and we dont? no.... (my trainer was an AC)... Very rarely do I let stuff get to me... but this cell phone thing -- joking or not -- really pissed me off. I know me.... in a few days, this will be done and I'll be back to joking.... but every now and then, I just get really upset.... and its VERY rare.... but this situation alone upset me.... let alone the fact that I had to tell Tiff I had to go just as she was starting to cheer me up a little bit from the conversation we had. *sigh* ... I made it though.... I get to go to sleep soon and take a day off tomorrow and relax.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Bedtime is approaching..... after all, its almost 4am.
The day was not bad.... really nothing new though. I hired someone today.... Matt and I know him and his family a little bit so that helps. He's gonna be just picking up a couple days a week. Other than that, really not much new.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

NOTICE: I have been asked to clarify something and prevent this from happening again. In my last entry, I reffered to Steve.... this is my manager at Pizza Hut. He's the one that hates me, not one of my best friends Steve that lives in MA. :)

From this point on, I will refer to my manager as Steve and my friend from Mass as "Stephen" ... just so there is no confusion. :)
Steve really does hate me....

Well, not really.... but I did find out that the ratings that were on my survey report from him, really arent from him. Honestly, im not surprised.... and at least now I know areas that I have to work on. He did create a nice list of good things I was doing..... I guess that made up for the 3's he gave me... :) Just wait till I have to review him for something.... (just kidding, steve - I'll be honest) :)

Not too much else happened today. I did get a chance to talk to Tiff for a long time today.... I really enjoyed that. We talked some about what was on my mind regarding Jim. I heard some things that I really liked and some things that I didnt want to hear.... but im glad I heard them all. Thats the thing about me and Tiff that I really like.... we're totally open and honest with each other... we tell each other everything no matter what.... it's great to have a relationship like that.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

I am 65% Internet Addict

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the Internet Addict Test at

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

My baby is sick :(

Well, as of today I am officially a High Impact Coach... what does that mean? nothing really.... but now I can say I am one :) It is another class under my belt to work on moving up in Pizza Hut though, so that is good.

Ive been kind of down the past few hours.... alot of thinking going on. I guess everything with Jim and Tiff has been on my mind.... I just wish Jim would quit bugging her with everything.... I guess I understand why he is but I know it's bugging Tiff. I dunno.... thats probably not all of it.... it actually probably has to do with the fact that the last 2 days have really kicked my butt.... We'll see how tomorrow goes.... hopefully I'll get to talk to Tiff tomorrow... I didnt tonight because she was sick and had to go to bed.... I hope she feels better soon.

I need sleep, so that is what im going to do! Good night everyone!
First of all: bowling.
My first game rocked... I had a 223... but then I crashed.... and had a 125 and a 153.... that really sucked.... the highlight of the night was my dad.... he had a 255, a 284, and a 290.... Thats an 829!!!! If any of you dont bowl, let me just tell you.... that is quite an accomplishment... an 800 series is incredible... in fact, had this been an ABC sanctioned league, my dad would have been getting a diamond ring (I'm serious... its THAT good). He also would have been getting awards for over average, 11 strikes in a row, and so on and so on. He had 31 strikes tonight..... in three games there is a possible 36... I'm pretty proud of my dad.... and today was my mom and his 25th anniversary so it couldnt have happened at a better time. The thing that sucked about this was we STILL lost the last 2 games. I wish I would have done a little bit better... had we won all 3, we probably would have taken first place for the session. Instead we are going to end up, probably, in fourth. I guess we still have two thirds to go though.
Secondly: High Impact Coaching (Day 1)
I guess it went ok.... it is rather boring.... but I am learning a little bit. The highlight of it though was my survey. Before I went to HIC, I had to fill out a survey about myself... then 10 of my team members had to fill out the same survey about me and then Steve (my manager) had to fill it out for me. Today I got the results of those. There were like 20-30 questions on the survey and the scale was 1-5 (5 being the best). Steve gave me one 4 and the rest 5's. The training leader even joked about misprints happening. It really made me feel good. I didnt realize that Steve thought that highly of me. On top of that, the averages of my team members .... not one question was below a 4. Most of them were 4.5 and above.... I had alot of 4.8's and even a 4.9..... At least I know I'm doing something right. There are some things Im finding that I need to work on, and I definately will develope those. The other nice thing I found out about me today was that I can adapt to different coaching styles easily. We did a quiz that showed us where our style fit and each of the four quadrants for me were only 4 points apart from each other. That, also, made me feel good. I'm interested to see what happens tomorrow in Day 2.... Only time will tell.
Lastly, I want to give you all a glimpse at the most beautiful thing in the world:

Aint she adorable? :)

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Saw Matrix: Revolutions again tonight.... this time in IMAX at the Carnegie Science Center.... man, was that awesome! If any of you have a chance to see it in IMAX form, dont pass up the chance.
Today was a pretty cool day. It started out talking to Tiff for a very short time. I wish it could have been longer, but it just didnt work out. Lori and I then went to the mall to buy our ski boots... and she bought poles too. I bought a pair of boots for $130.... which isnt too bad. They first gave me a pair for $80 to try on and they were actually not too bad and I almost bought those but then I tried on this other pair and I was sold.... they were just way too comfortable... so I figured it was worth the extra money. Our next adventure was me and Lori taking our skis and other equipment to Monroeville to get them waxed and adjusted and stuff.... I also needed help with my bindings. I took them in and they looked at my skis and said they couldnt tell me anything about those bindings.... legally anyway. I guess there is some kind of regulation that the binding companies tell stores they can no longer support certain bindings after a certain time... mine fall into that classification.... so I have to buy myself new bindings. Oh well... Lori said that she is gonna get em for me for my Christmas present... that'll help... then I have to drag them back down to monroeville to get mounted and get my skis waxed. They did tell me that my skis were probably worth the $70 alone so I didnt get ripped off at all.... they then looked at Lori's skis.... they were actually pretty impressed it seemed. Her's are in really good condition.... her bindings need some SERIOUS adjustment but thats nothing major... looks like I got a good deal for her.... and hers are the same as Tiff's, except Tiff's are a little shorter... so thats probably a good sign for Tiff.
So anyway, after all of the skiing stuff, it was time to get ready for my parent's surprise anniversary party. It's their 25th so me and my sisters wanted to do something special... so we planned a party at Pitzer's and got our picture taken for them and gave them a framed pic of us as well as a whole collection of others. They really enjoyed it... and it seemed they werent expecting anything, which was really cool. It went smooth.... I was happy! Also, at the party I talked to Aunt Kathy.... I have been really wondering what I should do about this wedding... I dont support what she is doing, but I didnt know if not going to the wedding was best anyway.... I just mainly didnt want to mislead her into thinking I supported her by going to the wedding... so anyway I took her aside and told her that I really didnt agree with what she was doing and that I didnt really support her, but I told her that I care for her and love her very much and that I was going to go to the wedding. She said thank you and gave me a big hug.... she said that she understood and said that she knows this is tough for everyone... im glad she at least understands.
Well, its been a long, exciting, and eventful day... its time to sleep. I'm probably going to skip church tomorrow (shame on me).... I just dont think im going to be able to get up....

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

WARNING: I have been yelled at for this post already. Here is a pre-pre-warning. If you have not seen Matrix: Revolutions yet, stop reading this post!

"Oh my god, they killed trinity... you bastards"

Matrix Revolutions was awesome.... it's probably tied with the first one... definately better than the 2nd one, which was extremely good too. If you havent seen it yet stop reading this unless you dont care about knowing stuff about the movie. For the most part, I liked how the supposed trilogy ended. It was great to see the machines and the humans reach a "treaty" and create peace. I am very upset about the fact that Trinity dies... I guess it fit the movie but I would have much rather seen the movie end in peace with Trinity and Neo going back to Zio and "living happily ever after" ... but I guess thats just the kind of person I am. The movie also left alot of speculation as to whether Neo is alive or dead. The movie doesnt show Neo doing anything after he is unplugged from the matrix after defeating Agent Smith. Personally, Neo is still alive in my eyes. When the little girl asks the Oracle if they will ever see Neo again, she responds by saying she assumes they would. This makes me wonder if the Matrix really does end with a trilogy... I know they have said it is just a trilogy but there is definately alot of room for yet another sequel, and I'm sure its something the world would love to see (well, most of us anyway). Twenty years from now (assuming at the time there is no 4th Matrix) I am going to be waiting for the 4th one.... Keanu Reeves can kick some computer ass in a wheelchair, right? :) Over all, I really did enjoy the movie and had a really great time today.
One thing that has been going through my mind as I watched the Matrix unfold in three movies is the love that is formed between Neo and Trinity. Maybe this is why I was so upset when Trinity died. On my mind alot was how similar I think this love is to me and Tiffany. There is just such a bond.... I dunno... It just makes me think alot about Tiffany. Tiff and I would do anything for each other... even die if it came to it.... and thats the way Neo and Trinity were.
Since I didnt blog last night, I'll touch a little on yesterday. Work was ok but we had alot of extremely strange customers.... it was just a weird night. I was glad when it was over. I did get a new toy though yesterday. I have been in the market for a new Palm (PDA) since the one I had kept crashing and I basically quit carrying it because it would always crash on me. I have been doing some research and while I did, I decided to for the fun of it see what it would cost to get a wireless palm with internet access. I eventually ran across the Handspring Treo SmartPhone. It's a combination cell phone and Palm. It runs on Palm OS so it is fully compatible with any Palm program. I found that T Mobile carried this device and was running a $100 rebate for it. I also found that they have unlimited data access for it for only $30 a month. I ended up getting one. While I was getting it though, I ran across a very messed up thing. When I applied for the service, T Mobile said my credit wasnt good enough to have the data only service but that they could accept me for a combo data and voice plan. WTF!? They cant trust me with $30 a month but they can trust me with $50.... doesnt make sense to me. Anyway I ended up putting it in my mom's name and it went through just fine. I am enjoying the service so far. A few things suck tho... for one it doesnt work at my house... no signal.... the signal is a little patchy in other areas too. I definately would not have a phone with T Mobile. I am perfectly content with my AT&T TDMA phone. GSM in this area sucks.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

4am and Im just now getting around to blogging.... oh well
Man did I suck tonight... well, my whole team did. We won 2 out of 7 points.... boy did we do bad... cant say that enough. My games were 132, 120, 138.... I didnt even get a 400..... glad its over with though.
There really isnt much on my mind so I think I'm gonna call it a night and go dream of my baby. I love you, Tiff!

Sunday, November 02, 2003

I have no management skills.....
Well, thats according to a customer tonight. She comes in and says "I have an 8.99 coupon but I forgot it at home" and I said that I would look at the coupons that we had in the store (which we're technically not allowed to do - the idea of a coupon is to get them IN to the store). I didnt have the 8.99 coupon she was talking about but I did have a 10.99 one that still would have saved her money. Typically customers are very happy when you do something like this (especially since most of them know you're not allowed to). Anyway, she was very polite and said that she would just drive home and get the coupon and then she walked out. When she came back she screamed at me and told me that I needed to get more management skills. *shrug* Had she actually expressed concern previously... or even gave me a chance to say something before she left, I probably would have backed down and just gave her a discount.... most customers would be extremely happy with what I did... I guess every now and then you get one that just wants to complain. Other than that the night went quite well. We did get crushed for a while... which is not typical of a Sunday. Thank God Adam just happened to stop in to visit Diana and he was able to punch in for a little bit and help out. That was a big help.... as a result I was able to send Tim home early since we died off and Adam kept all the dishes caught up and then before that I had already sent Zach home early because we were slow. So it all worked out great because Adam's hours filled in the gap for Zach and Tim's less hours... so it pretty much washed out. Personally, I think that MAY have been good management skills... but who am I to say? :)
Tiffany got back tonight.... she text paged me at work to tell me she was back but that was right when we were getting crushed so I wasnt able to talk to her (I'm happy that Steve lets me text her every now and then -- I'm not about to abuse that privledge and let it interfere with my work). I did have a nice email when I got home though. I miss her bunches! I cant wait to talk to her tomorrow.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Tiffany called my tonight!!!!! :)
That was by far the highlight of my day. It was soooo good to hear her voice. She really made me smile. Every time I talk to her I feel closer and closer to her and feel that this is more and more real. God really is taking care of everything, and I thank Him for it.
Aside from talking to Tiff, I watched about 3 episodes of Law and Order.... I rewatched the Kecksburg Exposed sci-fi special.... downloaded and listened to Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast... and went to McDonald's..... and, as most may have guessed... my room did not get cleaned....
B O R E D ! ! ! !

Thats it, im flying to London! :)
If they want to prove that mp3's hurt CD sales, yeah, CD's that can't be ripped into MP3's won't sell.
Its been almost 24 hours since I last talked to Tiff.... and its killing me *sigh* ... I wish she was visiting in New Alexandria rather than London... oh well.... I got to talk to her at 3:30am this morning, last morning.... whatever you want to call it. I left her an email and told her that whe she got online in the morning to send me a few text pages to wake me up so I could get online and talk to her before she left and then I could go back to bed after. I'm really glad she did and happy that I got to talk to her.... the problem is I dont remember much of the conversation... hehe... I may go back and check the log and see what I actually said.... I do remember some of it... just not all of it.... I'm still really glad she paged me tho.
Work was nuts tonight. We were short one person... he was scheduled as an extra so we didnt bother replacing the shift... ok, well, we tried but no one wanted to work on Halloween... We could have used someone else there tho. It didnt go too bad tho... for the most of the rush we had 4 managers there... one as a waitress and the other as... well, he kinda did everything... then Steve was at the cut table and I was on the make. I didnt leave the make for hours at a time.... we just kept slamming out pizza... then Steve decided to leave... hehe, no biggie... I told him to go but of course he had to say something like you wont get much more business.... he was wrong.... we had 4 people in the store (at this point matt was out as a waiter)... matt and patty were in the dining room, tim was on the make table, and I was between the cut and the make table.... I remember looking back from the cut and seeing tickets EVERYWHERE on the make table.... so I went back and helped Tim out when there werent any pizzas coming out.... Tim did an amazing job.... and I was really impressed with how the night turned out.... the dining room was in good shape around 9:30 so matt switched codes and came back and helped us out in the kitchen for a half hour until his shift was done.... Patty was out right at 11 and Tim and I were out at 10 after.... I was shocked... usually when I work we dont get out until 20 after or so.... but after this night from hell we got out earlier than usual.... amazing
ok, yea, im sure everyone wanted to know all about my night at pizza hut... now that ive bored everyone, I should get to bed.... I wanna sleep all day tomorrow tho.... I have NOTHING to do and its gonna drive me crazy.... I was gonna close the hut tomorrow for steve but he doesnt want me to get overtime.... *sigh* I could use the money :)

Friday, October 31, 2003

and oh yea.... DSL installation is done! :)
Ok, wow... its 2am.... and I was going to be in bed by midnight... oh well.
First off... the bear is in hiding... whatever that means... I think that means that Steve had enough of me abusing his bear and he took it home with him... now what will I do after I clean everything up at the hut?
Work went pretty well tonight... it seemed we got CRUSHED for a while... ok, actually we did get crushed.... but our sales werent up because everyone was using the blasted entertainment coupons... so alot of what we made was free and such.... my P&A report... ok, in laymens terms, my coupon report was 2 pages long.... usually on weekdays it doesnt even hit a page. Its sucks when all that happens.... you go crazy trying to keep up with everything and then they look at the reports and say "you didnt really have that much business" ... oh well... such is life.
Ok, I need some serious input on what im going to do this weekend.... besides go crazy. Tiffany is taking a trip into London.... she wont be back until Sunday night.... this means that I will not get to talk to her until at least Monday.... *sigh* This really sucks. Im working 9:30am-5:00pm on Monday now so if Tiff wants to talk to me on Monday, she will have to be online at 10pm her time... well, a little after that because I'll have to have time to get home... I'm not gonna ask her to do that... she needs her sleep.... I guess we'll see what happens. I got a really sweet email from her today... she called me her angel.... it really melted my heart.... she's my angle too tho... I love her soo much! I cant wait till I can see her. It's tough being apart.
Oh.. and one more thought.... how can you dial an 832- phone number and think that your calling New Stanton? I can understand when we get calls at pizza hut from people who really want one of the other Greensburg huts.... but New Stanton? Come on.... people never fail to amaze me at their stupidity.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Today was a decent day.... except for the morning when I misserably failed at installing a DSL connection.... but it wasnt my fault, its just a really old and bad computer.... I get to go back tomorrow to try it all over again... hope it goes better.
Tonight I got to talk to Steve (my one best friend from Mass.) ... it was nice to talk to him since it has been a while... it was good to get caught up on everything. Maybe one day I'll blog about how we met... its a pretty neat story, I guess :)
Tiff and I are getting ever more stronger. Yesterday was a good day for my attitude with Tiff. I talked about the whole ring situation with a few people.... most people kinda ... well, Vanetta said that I am a much stronger person than she knows because of the fact that I want Jim and Tiff to still be friends. Granted, I dont want her to keep the ring, but I do want them to be friends. Somehow I can just trust her in this situation... which is really good for a relationship and something that Tiff and I definately have: Trust! Patty at work said I was stupid... and I definately see her point. She said that I should think about it because Tiff and I were friends before she broke up with him and look what happened in that situation. I agree... but somehow I just know that Tiffany is serious enough to stay true to me. Granted, if I ever found out that some ended up happening between her and Jim it would hurt things tremendously.... but I dont think I have to worry... I completely trust her... Diana even agreed with me... she said that alot of people say "once a cheater, always a cheater" ... not always true... sometimes you get stuck in some very weird circumstances... and that is what happened with Tiffany. Tiffany and I are in love... we are soulmates... Ive known that since a few weeks after I met her, and although she never admitted to it, I really think she believed it shortly after I did. I know she definately believes it now... she's become so sweet too since the break up... I mean, she was always very sweet... but now she's even sweeter.... she's such an amazing girl. I cant even begin to describe how much I love her.
Well, speaking of Tiff... I need to wake up at 6am to talk to her because after that, I wont get to talk to her until at least monday since she's going to London for the weekend. As a result, im going to bed. Good night everyone!