Friday, February 27, 2004

I love Tiffany! xoxo
Passion Opens Amid Controversy - InfoBeat Entertainment News

I was glad that I was able to see this amazing film on Wednesday night. Tiffany and I went to see it. The film was absolutely amazing! It really made you think. In at least 2 areas of the film I caught myself with tears running down my face. It was incredibly moving and I pray that it does show many what our Lord and Saviour went through for us. The suffering that Jesus' went through was for us. It was our sins that put Him on that cross. And he did it willingly.

There is still much controversy about the film. Many lash against it's violence. Yes, it is a very violent film ... but that is exactly what the crucifixion was. In fact, I believe that the actual event probably was still even more violent than the movie was. I pray for and thank Mel Gibson!

Also on wednesday night.... I was lucky enough not to recieve a traffic citation.... nah, I received 2! It was a bad trip back from Williamsport to Lock Haven to drop Tiffany off. My first citation happened in Williamsport close to Jersey Shore. The citation reads that I was doing 73 in a 55. After research, I find that a conviction of this speed is equal to 3 points on my record. The second citation was for "not stopping at flashing red lights" which resulted in cutting of a police cruiser (another 3 points). Ok, so cops arent happy when you cut them off. I actually sent the paper work today to both magistrates pleading not guilty. I had a huge debate in my mind about doing this, but it seems like the best route for me to take. I dont want to lie... I'm not about that. I was speeding.... and yes, I did cut off a cop. But I think there a circumstances in each instance that should be heard in court so this is the route I am going to take. I'm not going in to say I wasnt speeding. I'm not going in to say that I did not cut off the officer.... I just think there are things that need to be heard before I am convicted. If they hear my case and still find me guilty, so be it.

Well today leads me to VA. Jason and I have a lot of work to do down there. I'll be back sometime tomorrow. I'm gonna go get ready.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

It's been a while since I blogged so I will try to update everyone the best that I can. Things have just been so hectic recently that I havent felt like writing anything.
Things are really confusing with everything in my life. A week or so ago I got my hours cut at Pizza Hut because our sales have been so low. I was not happy about this. It's not fair when you put years of service and effort into somewhere and then you get screwed and even the newest guys dont lose anything. I was really upset. Pizza Hut treats their shift managers like crap and I hate it. The good news is that our sales boosted in the last week. EXTREMELY high sales! This is good and may mean that Im going to get some hours back. There still are issues at Pizza Hut. The ironic thing is what Tiff has been dealing with me with recently. I really have been feeling completely worthless. Like I'm not worth anything to anybody, including her. She really started convincing me that I wasnt worthless and then a few incidents happen at Pizza Hut. Apparently employees have been telling Steve that I am inefficent and I stand around and not work alot. Maybe this may be an issue... I'm not sure. But no one felt like coming to me. I dont know if I have ever heard "Bob, your a good manager" ... I've heard it about other managers.... but not about me. And then, today, I get called in to work. It's Saturday... my only day I ever get off..... finally, after a week from hell I was getting ready to relax a day and just kinda blow of steam... was probably gonna go hit the slopes since the conditions are supposed to be really good today... but what am I doing? I'm going to be working at Pizza Hut.... why? because im too nice to say no and leave someone hanging.... but am I going to be appriciated? Probably not. Actually, I'll probably screw something up and just get told again how horrible I really am. I mean, I am gonna be waiting tables tonight so im sure i'll screw something up....
Computer Connections I guess is going ok. I tried to get full time there but that got denied... for now anyway. Thursday I got chewed out a couple times for something that wasnt even my fault.... I tried my best to just stay calm but I ended up getting really stressed out... so bad that for a while I totally lost vision in my one eye.
Dont get me wrong about everything. I am doing ok.... things between Tiff and I are getting better and I'm holding on to that. Yes, we still have a rocky relationship but we both love each other. I'm not really depressed per say... I'm making it and everything.... I just dont feel like I'm worth too much. Andit really makes me mad because Tiff almost had me convinced and then Pizza Hut has to go and ruin that. I wish I was appriciated.... anywhere and by anyone.
I guess I better get ready to go to work :(

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

All better! :)

Bowling: 187 147 190

Not a bad night. My phone number is now on my Verizon phone... Tiff and I are in good shape.... and the grand news of all is that we ended the week at Pizza Hut today with WAY above average sales!

For now, it's bed time! Good night!

Monday, February 16, 2004

I'm a wreck.... it feels like everything is falling apart..... please pray for me.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

The perfect kiss to end the perfect weekend.

This weekend was awesome. Tiff and I had a great time. I really could not have asked for more. It was nice being able to spend so much time with her on such a special day. Dinner last night was amazing as well. The restraunt was incredible! I wouldnt have traded anything for this weekend. I love Tiff so much.... and I know she loves me too! We both needed this weekend. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us....

Now on a bit of a sader note. Please keep my job situation in your prayers. I know I havent posted in a while so you really arent up to date on what is going on but things are not good at the moment. I'm actually thinking of brushing up my resume and starting to send it out tomorrow.... but this is all for another blog.... I had a great weekend and I'm going to hold on to that as long as I can... just please keep my jobs in your prayers.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Again, just another pulse.... I am still alive.... alot has gone on in the last few days.... but alot more than I can share here right now. I just have not had the time to spent blogging... and really dont right now.

Valentine's day is coming.... and it looks like I just might have a valentine.... and a really sweet and cute one at that :)

I love you, Tiffany!

Monday, February 09, 2004

Not much to report.... it was actually a good day..... things between Tiff and I were really cool.... couldnt ask for much more than that. I also had a very good night of bowling. I had 173, 248, 192.... All 3 games over average. It was a good night!
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive! There hasnt really been too much that I want to talk about. Sorry for the lack of entertainment. I am doing ok. Things could be better but im sure that someday they will be. Please just keep me and Tiff in your prayers.... we're fighting for this.... we can make.... we just need some help.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

It was a good day! This is a short blog! Good night :)
I just looked at the clock.... wow Im gonna be tired tomorrow. This is just a quick blog to tell everyone that I made it home. Even though Tiff's roomie was upset, the extra day up there with Tiff really helped alot! I went up there Monday night expecting to come back single..... I was wrong.... instead Tiff and I became closer quicker than I ever thought. I know that she means business now.... this is hard for her.... and I understand why now.... but as long as I know that this is what she wants, I'm going to be fighting right beside her. I love her sooo much! I really, really do..... so why am I up so late? Researching stuff for Valentine's day! I'm gonna try to make this the best day of her life! I hope I can pull it off! :) Well, I must be up in 5 hours.... I'm going to bed! Goodnight!

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Did you ever feel like you just really screwed everything up? Now, its not what you think. Things are good between Tiff and I... we are still together and we still love each other very much. But its now 9:30am.... I'm practically stranded here at Lock Haven. The roads are bad here and dad says the roads are bad at home... if thats the case then the mountains between us are probably even worse. Tiff and I were up late working on her computer... after her room mate went to bed. Apparently we were keeping her up but we didnt realize this. I guess we really pissed her off... so we shut the computer off and then realized the conditions of the roads and I ended up staying the night here. I have a feeling that pissed her off to.... I just feel like I really screwed everything up bad..... maybe it really wasnt my fault but I feel really bad..... just want to go in the corner and cry :( .... oh well, I guess life goes on. I dont know when I'm going to get home..... I dont want to leave tiff.... but I want to leave this situation. I never dreamed this would be how I felt after last night. Things went really well between Tiff and I. I just still had to find a way to screw something else up.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Bob K Mertz FAQ - Valentine's Day

Have you ever had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
Once. Out of many, I had one girlfriend on Valentine's Day, however, she was forbidden to see me therefore it really shouldn't count.

Typically when do you lose your girlfriends?
Usually within one month of Valentine's day -- always before. Many times this happens the week or two before Valentine's day, and in one instance, the day before.

What is with you wearing black on Valentine's Day?
After everything that I have been through when it comes to relationships, this seems to be one way that I can show my anger towards something that continually hurts me. If a Valentine's day comes along that I actually have a stable relationship with a girl, I will then, and only then, not wear black.

If you could have one thing for Valentine's day, what would it be?
Unconditional love. Honesty. I would want to know that I am just as important to my girlfriend as she is to me. Material things are worthless. I want true love.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

I have a new attitude!
I am on the verge of happiness. Right now, I am suffering.... but happiness is on it's way. This is a very tough time in my life. Even tougher since most of my friends dont support me. But one of my friends said something to me yesterday that didnt really hit me until today. He said that there is always someone suffering worse than you. Ive heard that so many times and I always just ignore it.... because I guess.... who cares, right? It hit me today tho.... how much Jesus suffered for me. What I am going through right now is nothing compared to what my Saviour did for me. Until I am hung on a cross and taking on all the sins of the world.... I have no room to complain. I deserve not only death, but an eternity in hell.... but God's grace covers me. Thank God for that!
The other thing that really sank in was why I am suffering. Not so much the worldly reasons but why it's allowed to happen. God will not give us more than we can handle. His Word says this.... therefore, if I am suffering this much.... then God must think pretty highly of me. I know that God has great plans for me as well as great plans for Tiff.... and I'm pretty sure we're going to be together to accomplish those things.
After church today, I was feeling really good. I had to ask Pastor Trice a question and we ended up talking about my situation. He really.... shall we say, put me in line. He kinda shined the spot light on me and in-advertently showed me what *I* was doing wrong in this relationship. There are things I need to work on... but honestly, I think most of those are taken care of now.... I have a new attitude. There are things that Tiff needs to work on..... she knows that as well as I do.... but I need to focus on what I need to work on.
I love Tiffany with all of my heart. I dont want to lose her again. I'm going to try my hardest to keep her.... but only if she wants to be with me too (which I think she does).
I'm at church right now but I needed to write about how much better I feel right now. Last night I was doing a bunch of stuff in my email and I'm not sure what I did but I clicked something and an old email from tiff came up. I just decided to read it again and it really touched me. She was explaining how she loved me and how she was sorry that she wasn't really able to show it right now. I understand things are rough for her right now. There are a few things that I really don't like how she's handling.... But I love her and I'm going to fight for this. I feel a lot better.... I just really hope that tiff would take the time to call me today. I could really use that.
QDB: Quote #4304