Sunday, February 01, 2004

I have a new attitude!
I am on the verge of happiness. Right now, I am suffering.... but happiness is on it's way. This is a very tough time in my life. Even tougher since most of my friends dont support me. But one of my friends said something to me yesterday that didnt really hit me until today. He said that there is always someone suffering worse than you. Ive heard that so many times and I always just ignore it.... because I guess.... who cares, right? It hit me today tho.... how much Jesus suffered for me. What I am going through right now is nothing compared to what my Saviour did for me. Until I am hung on a cross and taking on all the sins of the world.... I have no room to complain. I deserve not only death, but an eternity in hell.... but God's grace covers me. Thank God for that!
The other thing that really sank in was why I am suffering. Not so much the worldly reasons but why it's allowed to happen. God will not give us more than we can handle. His Word says this.... therefore, if I am suffering this much.... then God must think pretty highly of me. I know that God has great plans for me as well as great plans for Tiff.... and I'm pretty sure we're going to be together to accomplish those things.
After church today, I was feeling really good. I had to ask Pastor Trice a question and we ended up talking about my situation. He really.... shall we say, put me in line. He kinda shined the spot light on me and in-advertently showed me what *I* was doing wrong in this relationship. There are things I need to work on... but honestly, I think most of those are taken care of now.... I have a new attitude. There are things that Tiff needs to work on..... she knows that as well as I do.... but I need to focus on what I need to work on.
I love Tiffany with all of my heart. I dont want to lose her again. I'm going to try my hardest to keep her.... but only if she wants to be with me too (which I think she does).

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