Friday, March 30, 2007

Shirt deemed "inappropriate" that supports breast cancer research

I agree with everything this girl says. No matter how it can be taken, there are a lot more shirts out there that are worse in meaning and declared "appropriate"

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Maybe fate is fate but if that's true then let's try to make the way it happens a little more pleasant.
Freaking Sweet! I have Monday and Tuesday off this week! Now maybe I can actually get caught up on some things!
The Origin of Ctrl-Alt-Del

Tonight was horrible.... I was working at our Elden street store and I had a cockatiel out that was supposed to have had her wings clipped by the lady who sold her to us.... well, I didnt really get good feelings about that lady but that's beside the point.... I was giving this cockatiel some attention and next thing you know she is flying around the store like crazy. Once we got her, I figured her wings needed clipped.... when I looked at her wings it was obvious that they had already been clipped but not done properly.... I clipped her one wing with no issues at all.... then moved the other one.... she freaked out and my heart sunk.... her other wing was blood feathers..... I just wanted to cry.... For about the next half hour I had to hold her still while holding a paper towel on her wing.... it was one of the most horrible things I've had to do in a while.... After that I watched her for a little bit and eventually she decided to flutter her wings.... all of a sudden blood went everywhere.... finally I called Jay (my manager at the other store -- a very knowledgeable bird person) and he came over to take a look.... she's doing just fine and it really isnt something incredibly drastic and it is something that you can sometimes get confused with --- but I still feel horrible.... She really is an incredibly sweet bird tho.... even after all the trauma she still wanted me to pet her and give her attention.

.... now if I could only find a human that would want the same

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I bet you've never heard ole Marshall Dillion say
Miss Kitty have you ever thought of running away
Settling down will you marry me
If I asked you twice and begged you pretty please
She'd of said Yes in a New York minute
They never tied the knot
His heart wasn't in it
Stole a kiss as he road away
He never hung his hat up at Kitty's place

I should've been a Cowboy
I should'be learned to rope and ride
Wearing my six-shooter riding by pony on a cattle drive
Stealing the young girl's hearts
Just like Gene and Roy
Singing those campfire songs
I should've been a cowboy

I might of had a side kick with a funny name
Running wild through the hills chasing Jesse James
Ending up on the brink of danger
Riding shotgun for the Texas Rangers
Go west yound man, haven't you been told
California's full of whisky, women and gold
Sleeping out all night beneath the Texas stars
Dream in my eye and a prayer in my heart

I should've been a Cowboy
I should'be learned to rope and ride
Wearing my six-shooter riding by pony on a cattle drive
Stealing the young girl's hearts
Just like Gene and Roy
Singing those campfire songs
I should've been a cowboy

"Should've Been A Cowboy" by Toby Keith
Click on the image to see some cool things my church is doing... I'm really excited about everything that God has in store -- really awesome stuff!











Monday, March 19, 2007

Well, now that I have to take it easy for the next couple of days.... I just spent a good 4 hours or so in the ER.... I had been feeling sick for the last week or so but it apparently all caught up to me today.... my blood pressure was high, most likely because of the stress of being sick. My temperature was around 101F .... I got some nice little needles all over me and one of those was attached to a bag delivering some really great stuff to my veins :) I am feeling a good bit better.... the sad part I'm still quite misserable.... just better than I was 5 hours ago.

Please keep me in your prayers and go easy on me the next few days.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

"Yea, we can be friends but its on my terms -- only when it fits my life"

No one has ever actually said that to me in words but it seems like more than half the people I meet say it to me in actions. It goes against what the term "friend" even means. You can't be a friend to someone without letting them know whats going on with you and without genuinely being concerned about whats going on with them. You can't ask a question of how someone is doing and then ignore the fact that you asked it when you find out things aren't going well with them. Additionally, if you really truly are a friend, you'll do what's needed to talk to them -- even if it's not your normal means of communication.

Someone once gave me a sign that explained what a forever friend was..... just like that was a single piece of paper, being called a friend is nothing more than words unless it's backed by actions.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

The last week or two has been quite rough for me.... I've been working some pretty insane hours and I've not been feeling too well. It left me questioning why I bother doing anything anymore.... Seems like no matter what I do I'll never really make a difference and probably always be taken advantage of......
..... then tonight I was doing an inventory count on fish food and I had my laptop just outside of the fish room and I heard a mother who had who two daughters in there start saying "Goldfish are the most misunderstood fish....." .... Then I remembered. See, I wrote up little tags and classifications for each tank that we have so that people know what fish they can put together as well as some general tips with the fish. Goldfish got their own classification and I wrote a short little paragraph explaining the things that people don't realize about goldfish.... I looked in the room and saw her reading it to her daughters and you could tell they learned some things that they never knew.....

.... Then I remembered... maybe I am making a difference to someone....

Thursday, March 15, 2007

"Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low." - Henry Ward Beecher

Tonight we were watching House and Lisa was hanging out on the back of the couch where she likes to be so she can look at everything going on.... tonight she did something that really made me smile.... after being on the back of the couch for a while she crawled down to sit on my shoulder.... which wasn't an easy task for her but she really wanted to be on my shoulder. Not only was it really cool that she wanted to be on my shoulder but that it was something she wanted bad enough to actually work for.

Recently I have really been thinking about a lot of things.... ok, well, I am always thinking about things... but specifically I have been thinking about relationships. Relationships aren't easy and I believe they are designed that way because if everything was easy, we'd have no way of showing what we truly desire. If the slightest bump comes along in a relationship and someone just gives up, then it wasn't a relationship that they truly desired.... If a relationship really is worth something to you, then the hardest struggle that comes along can not keep you from fighting for what you truly desire..... If someone is worth enough to you, then you do all you can to be with that person. You do this because they are something that you truly want.

Love can not be just a breeze because if it is, then there really is no point to it. You can't love someone without truly wanting to be with them or talk to them or at least do something to help them... there is always a want or a desire before love can be born... if you have love without a want or a desire, then it's most likely just a passing thing. You want someone because they have something to offer.... and in the most amazing relationships they have something that only you want.... something that sometimes can't even be explained.

Recently my struggle has been with what it is that I have to offer someone. I love my job for a reason -- because I have knowledge of fish to offer to people. I talk to people every day about what is the best tank set up and what is best for their fish.... And people tell me they come back to our store because they can tell there is a passion behind what I tell them.... and they are right because I do have a real passion for fish. I also have a passion for seeing new technology implemented for people who are really helping others.... and I guess that's why one of the most important things I do is something I do for free -- volunteer at New Life. It's a passion of mine because I know that I am helping people that are really out there ministering to people that are hurting.

But you ask what the struggle is? Simply -- what do I have to offer anyone in a relationship? People can tell me all they want that I'm attractive or that I'm an awesome person to be around but when that ends with those words and there is no desire then what's it really worth? The craziest thing is that the only times that I feel attractive are when people are trying to put me down. Just a little bit ago I posted the comments to a fark post where people really did a lot of putting me down... the truth is that those comments only made me stronger and feel better about myself..... It's a hard thing to explain but it is true.... but I still am left with the question of what do I actually have to offer someone in either a romantic relationship or even just in a friendship? The truth is that I may never really believe that I do have something to offer until someone makes the journey and really fights to be with me. If I'm worth taking risks for I don't want to just hear that I'm worth taking risks for -- I want someone to take those risks.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

It's Tuesday and half the world still doesn't know what time it is. Services here and there haven't updated to the DST modifications and the services that those services work with have.... I've got emails coming in with a time in the header that is one hour different than the time in the email.... it's downright annoying.

The worst part of all of this.... when it reaches the time that DST would have started without these changes, we are going to have servers skip ahead an hour.... Wonder if all those people that manually adjusted time on their boxes thought about that.....

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Ok, rant time....

One thing that always has irritated me was the people that talk to me only when they need something.... never a "hey, how are you doing" without a "hey, I have a question for you" ... but until the last month I didnt realize that they were not the worst.... the worst is when you try to disguise the fact that you are only talking to me because you need something.....

It happens like this.... start talking to me and saying hi.... then ask if I mind you asking a question about _____ and I say "sure" because it seems like you're actually interested in talking to me.... I answer your question.... and then one (or maybe two) times after that you talk to me..... and then ride off into the sunset to never be heard from again.

It's really irritating the amount of people that take advantage of me.... employers and friends alike.... I've even been told by people that they hate me because I'm an extremely nice person.... None of this means that I'm going to change.... I am who I am no matter who takes advantage of the situation.... and I like who I am.... it just upsets me that very few people in this world have genuine concern for anyone other than themselves.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Don't know why I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do zero to sixty in five point two

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Can't be late, I leave in plenty of time
Shakin' hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Oh, I hear a voice
That says I'm running behind
Better pick up my pace
It's a race and there ain't no room for someone in second place

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

"I'm In A Hurry (And Don't Know Why) by Alabama

Thursday, March 08, 2007

[intro]
I'm gonna remember you
you gonna remember me
I'm gonna remember you
you gonna remember me

[verse 1]
I saw you with your new girl just yesterday
and I feel that I must confess
even though it kills me to have to say
ill admit that I was impressed
is it calling just showed up affection
gotta commend you on your selection
though I know I shouldnt be concerned
in the back of my mind I cant help but question

does she rub your feet (when you've had a long day)
scratch your scalp (when you take out your braids)
does she know that you (like to play ps2 till 6 in the morning like I do)

[chorus]
I cant explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
and even though we've moved on
it gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away, walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away
(i cant forget it how we use to be)

[verse 2]
I guess I gotta live my life from day to day
hoping maybe you'll come back
and though I tell myself not to be afraid
to move on but it seems I cant
no other man has given me attention
it aint the same as your affection
though I know I should be content
in the back of my mind I cant help but question

does he kiss me on the forehead (before we play)
show on my doorstep (with a bouquet)
does he call me in the middle of the day (just to say)
baby I love you (like you used too)

[chorus]
I cant explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
and even though we've moved on
it gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away, walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away
(i cant forget it how we use to be)

[bridge]
so hard to express this feeling
cause nobody compares to you (to you)
and you know she'll never love you like I do

[chorus 2x]
I cant explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
and even though we've moved on
it gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away, walk away
(I'm gonna remember you, you gonna remember me)
walk away

[outro]
I'm gonna remember you
you gonna remember me
I'm gonna remember you
you gonna remember me

"Walk Away" by Paula Deanda
Am I dead yet?

Computers suck.... I decided I was going to run an update on new life's pbx system.... its a simple and painless script.....

.... and here it is 8 hours later and I am just now going to bed hoping to God it really is working and isnt just pretending :)

I gotta be up at 7:15 so i can get ready for work.... weee 2 1/2 hours...

nite nite

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall and bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that pleads forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts
Of painful memories
But I know
That your response will always be

(Chorus)
I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm looking for
And I take all I can
And lay it down
Before the throne of endless grace, now
That radiates what's true

I'm in the only place
That erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know
That your response will always be

(Repeat Chorus)

I can only speak
With a grateful heart
As I'm pieced by this gift
Of your love

I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

(Chorus Two)
You'll take me back always
And even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You'll take me back always
And even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You'll take me back always

Even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now

You'll take me back always

Even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through

You'll take me back

"Take Me Back" by Jeremy Camp

Friday, March 02, 2007

Scared Stiff
I really liked this post that my friend made to his blog. It's worth a read.