It seems that no one wants to talk to me.... but I understand that I'm a failure and just have this way of screwing things up so... well, yea... you'll have that I guess. The only calls I get on my phone are bill collectors (which I now dont answer unknown calls), a family member telling me their computer is broke, or... well, thats about it.... I'm losing it... I wish my phone would ring and it would be a friend who just called to talk.... and not just anyone... someone who cares.

I spent all day today fixing computers. When I say all day, I mean all day! I have to say tho, Microsoft's SP2 for WinXP is pretty nice. Looks like its going to do alot for security... something that Windows as a whole has been lacking. Granted, I'm sure there will still be holes but at least they are trying something new.

I'm out of it... really out of it. My mind is so messed up. I just need some serious prayer.... I could use some people who want to get together and just hang out.... Im gonna go to bed before I start to cry. I'm hurting pretty badly.... but I guess it's needed. Church is in about 8 hours.... hopefully I can drag myself out of bed.... I gotta get back to church.... its who I am.. well, who I was and who I need to be again.