Friday, September 22, 2006

I just want to apologize for anyone that my last few posts may have hurt. I am also sorry that some people misinterpreted me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I analyze just about everything that comes my way. In the last day I was analyzing alot. Sometimes it just amazes me how people respond to certain situations and sometimes it also impresses me how much certain events can blind others from noticing other events. This is something that I amaze myself with at times.

Ultimately, what I have learned in the last 24 hours (at least more than I had before) is that you simply can not help someone that doesnt need to be helped. When Paul Revere warned everyone that the British were coming, they each had a choice to believe or not... and I think that if it was your first day in the town, you may not have believed quite so easily than someone who had seen the things that had been going on before the warning.

I dont believe that God creates pain for us but He often lets pain happen but only when that pain can be used to glorify Him or when that pain can be used to mold us into something else. It's not easy to learn sometimes and while we wish that someone was there to just tell us "yes" or "no", we don't realize that either way we're still going to try it ourselves and we're still going to let the pain happen.

I am in no way taking back anything that I have said in the last 24 hours but I am sorry about the way some people took it. Back in the situation when I first moved to VA and had the car issues, it got to the point that the next thing that went wrong only made me laugh. I had no other choice but to laugh at the misfortune that had been occuring and in that laughter I learned how to ride the waves. In the end, I ended up with a great car, Tiff ended up with a great car, and eventually, my friend from Brazil ended up with a great car for the time she was here. I wonder how it would have been if I didnt learn to laugh about those misfortunes? Right now, I see myself in the same situation.

I feel absolutely no emotional pain from what happened in the last 24 hours. I do feel frustrated in watching a friend hurt herself. People may attack me because they dont fully understand the words that I said. The important thing is that I know in my heart that Tiff somewhere knows that what I said and what I did was only because of the love that I have for her. I do care about her very much and I think she knows that. I wish I could help.... I really do. But that was the most important thing for me to learn -- that sometimes you just can't help someone that isnt ready to be helped. I'm glad Tiff was in my life because I have learned things that I would not have otherwise learned. I was told that I need to move on but thats not something I have to do because I already have moved on -- the problem was, I didn't "shake the dust off my feet" (Luke 9:5).

I'm really happy with where my life is and the things that have come my way. It's been a long time since I've been this content with my life. There is a really special girl in store for me and God will show me who she is when the time is right. Kim showed me what love was and whether or not Kim is the one for me doesnt matter -- I at least now know a little more about what I am looking for in a relationship.

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