Something thats always kind of got me is how much other people affect us.... I mean that as a question. Ultimately it seems like decissions the OTHER make will drastically affect our own lives.... and in reality, this is very true in my life. Sometimes I guess it's hard for others to stick by you and when they chose to leave its out of your control.... does it mean that God's ultimate plan was for them to leave.... I dont think it always does.... but this I'm sure of... if you follow your heart and dont let anything stand in your way for following it (especially fear), then God will always take care of you..... and I think if someone else screws up God's ultimate plan for your life, it only pays off more for you because God will make it even better.

Actually... the more I think about this, it really seems that sometimes God allows you to change back to a certain way of thinking just to give someone else another shot.... We know that God is all about second and third (and more) chances.... but I think that sometimes He wont let that chance be given to someone else through us. I've seen this in relationships and I've seen this in jobs. I find myself coming back to a person or a job or whatever else and that lasts for a time..... and I guess that maybe those times are when God is giving that person/company a window of opportunity to change something..... but what holds them back? Probably a number of things.... I think fear is the absolute destruction of following God. You have to take so many steps of faith to be in tune with God.... and if your affraid of the unknown and you constantly ask yourself "what-ifs", then you simply arent going to make it until you learn to do that. People have taken chances on me.... people have given up on me.... and whether they followed God's will or not is not for me to decide.... did it drastically affect me? Very much so! But the thing is that in the end, things have become better or are becoming better. Look at Carpathia.... I had to make some very drastic decissions.... and actually, I changed my way of thinking quite a few times.... and I really believe those were all at God's lead and part of God's plan for letting Carpathia resolve things that needed resolved.... and what happened? Well... Carpathia took that chance on me, gave me a raise, etc.... and here I am.... working for Carpathia and loving it.... but what would have happened if I never followed God's lead and gave my two weeks notice on a complete step of faith? What if Carpathia didnt decide to take a chance on me? Life is all about taking chances and stepping out in faith and following your heart. You can not, in any way, except others to make the decissions for you. If you want to follow God you absolutely have to step out in faith and say "Ok God, this is what I believe you are telling me.... so here goes" ... And if your heart really believes that I think even if you are wrong, God is going to honor it because you actually took that step with the right heart and He'll make sure He takes care of you.

Where I'm at right now.... I cant imagine having a tug at my heart that I'm too affraid to make known.... I dont know how I would or even could handle that. God has prepared me so much to take these huge steps and huge leaps and to ignore what others think of me.... if I was affraid to follow God's lead, I just dont know how I would survive.... I really think the greatest blessing that God has given me over the last year is the growth of my faith. I have alot of room to improve.... but the increase is great. I really do think it's the greatest blessing I have right now.... Even better than my new friends, my new church, etc, etc.... all extremely awesome blessings.... but knowing that God is going to take care of me and being able to take steps of faith is, by far, the greatest blessing I have right now.

Are you afraid to take a step that God wants you to take? The only way your going to build your faith is to just do it.... see what happens..... and if you fall flat on your face, then so what? You get right back up and go again..... but God help you if you dont take that step of faith and have to live with that decission for the rest of your life....

Just some thoughts on my mind right now.... its way past my bedtime for a Friday night so I'm headed there right now. Have a great weekend everyone! I love you all!