Really not doing too well emotionally right now. I really hope I get to hang out Nate, Kim, and Becca tonight.... but im kinda having my doubts.... I havent heard from Kim or Becca since Sunday.... Nate mentioned something last night about doing something but I dunno..... I just need some time to relax and do something and get my mind off of my heart being continually crushed over and over again.

And yes, some of this is regarding Tiff.... she text'd me today.... first I've heard from her at all since she got back from Wolf Park.... her grandpa passed away..... but she didnt text me for that... she just wanted to let me know that she was letting her parents use her phone while they went to SC.... which is fine.... but I she has another cell phone too apparently..... I guess I've had hope for a while that she would start wanting to talk to me and stuff but now I guess I'm seeing that only the opposite is true.... she doesnt need me.... she doesnt want me..... so why do I sit here and get myself worked up over this? I dunno.... something isnt right.... Maybe Tiff and I never will have a relationship again.... but it is killing me that she totally threw are relationship away and it seems like she decieved me and in a way, she used me.....

And now the emails start pouring in about "Bob why are you even thinking of her...." blah blah blah........ if thats whats on your mind, then you just stop reading my blog and leave me alone.... Its obvious that you dont understand any more than I do..... and I'm tired of hearing it...... Whether Tiff is the one for me or not, there are issues that need taken care of..... I treasure so many memories with Tiff but I'm really starting to feel cursed about the whole thing..... Someday I'll figure it out... Someday God will show me why Tiff is still in my mind and why I cant get her out..... And maybe someday everyone that attacks me regarding tiff will learn to shut the hell up and leave me alone.

Im glad it's the weekend.... I think.....