I realize that I may never be better unless I put this behind me..... but then again, I realize the only thing that can put this behind me is death.

God tests His children over and over again until they get it right. I was doing so well.... but tonight, I failed..... its truly the only thing that I do not fail at: failing. Now I know the test will come again.

I've screwed up.... God may forgive me, but people wont. Not even those who mean the world to me.