Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I'm laying here in bed and I still can't sleep.... A lot on my mind.... I don't understand why my mind has been racing so much..... All of a sudden an Alabama song came on the radio and I thought back to working at Lock Haven Pizza Hut.... There were a lot of good memories from my time at LHU.... And I miss it more than anyone realizes..... I miss being able to see Tiff every day.... Someone I could be around everyday.... I don't understand what's going on with me..... All these thoughts are starting to make me feel anxious for some reason.... I don't understand why all of this is creeping up on me.... Why do I feel this way? I believe I'm on the edge of really great things happening.... Why am I feeling like this? Especially after being fine for so long.... Am I just getting to the threshold of what I can handle..... But if that's the case, why is it so much of my past that is just filling my mind.... Why do I desire what was so badly even tho there seems to be no chance of any of those things coming to be again..... And would that even be the best or would those good things from my past only lead me to disaster again..... Only set me up for more pain? I guess in a way it seems that the better things get for me, the harder it is for me because it only shows me even stronger the fact that I have no one to share those good things with.......

I really need to sleep.... I hope I can fall asleep soon :(

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