Against everything I felt, I sent Tiff an IM tonight.... I dont know why.... she basically said she was in alot of pain...... but ive realized that I really cant be there for her. I had to go suddenly and when I got back on, she was gone of course. She said how much I cared about her meant alot to her and she said that she really needs comfort right now (in an IM to my home AIM)...... I sent her an email and explained that I cant be there for her. In some ways I wish I could.... but I cant.

I'm sure that will be the last I hear of her for a while.... I wish I didnt have to make the first attempt at communication but I couldnt rely on her to do it.... and I'm not gonna do it again for at least a while (unless God would direct otherwise, I guess) so I guess that means that we wont talk for a while.