This is really starting to hurt..... I thought that the period of my life where I had all of these mental issues was over.... I thought I was getting on with my life.... now it seems "Psycho Bob" is back.... and I hate it. I was really happy that things started going well and I made new friends and the past was the past and I was starting over.... I made new friends here in VA and things were great and I was so happy that all of the issues with my depression and my ADHD or whatever was solved and I was in good shape.... But now, its all coming out again.... so now will be the time when all of my friends are affraid to be around me because I'm depressed. This is the adventure I go through time and time again.... things are great, I get depressed, people leave because they dont want to deal with me.... they dont understand.... and in many cases, they dont try to understand.
So basically, you'll probably find me going into my shell again.... ignoring people around me because if I'm around people, I'll just constantly upset them and bring them down. Already in the last week I've apparently hurt my friends a couple times by acting ways that I didnt even realize I was acting.... It's no wonder I'm single..... no one is ever going to truly love someone that's such a mess like this.... no one is ever going to want to deal with it.... and no matter what people tell me, I know they'll leave and not deal with it. Its happened too many times.... in fact, I convinced myself that I wouldnt let anyone near so that this disaster wouldnt happen again.... then Tiff came along and for some reason, I went against that... I opened up.... she told me she loved me and that she never would leave me and that no matter what, she would be there for me..... well, look now.... she's so far gone that I dont even know who she is anymore. Not only did she leave, but she left in one of the worst possible times..... So you want me to believe that YOUR never going to leave me? Right.... Its not that its anything against you (whoever you are, reading this), but its that I've had my life experiences and I've learned that I can't trust those promises anymore.... seems that no one is about keeping that promise.
What hope do I have? I'm just going to be a misserable single human being the rest of my life.... and maybe for a few months in a row, I'll actually feel good about myself.... but either way, this isnt the ideal life..... it sucks.... So really.... what hope do I have?