I dont understand what is going on but it really seems like things are just not clicking together anymore..... like, mainly on the job side of things. Ultimately, I need to start working towards ministry.... Carpathia is my place for now, but the corporate sector is NOT my future....
Really tho, at this point, I'm very stressed... I need to be able to relax but I cant find a way to do that.... I've tried calling multiple friends to see if they wanted to hang out for dinner but not only are the typically hard people to reach not reachable but the people that I can always get a hold of, I cant.... Many of my friends that are always on AIM and such are not today.... Truly, I am alone today and I need something to help me relax.... but that just isnt happening today it seems. I really would like some relief right now.... I'm actually even starting to feel a little bit sick :(
The good news is God really did show me that He is working on something.... He showed me that the pain that I have been struggling with for a while is really going to be coming to an end sometime soon.... What God's definition of "soon" is may not be known, but I was definately shown evidence that God is working on my life and moving me to the places that I need to be. I've always realized that, as Christians, we should be honored to be the pawns on God's chess board.... I've realized tho, that I am more than a pawn in this game.... I dont know what piece I am... maybe a knight or rook or something.... I dont know.... but God does have something planned for me... and it's something big.
Despite the encouragement, I still am quite stressed and really need to relax... desperately.... but I'll make it some how... I always do.