Is it wrong to be selfish at least once in a great while? Is it wrong to think of yourself at one moment of the day? It it wrong to want something that only benefits you and not others.... are these wrong? Anything I want and desire doesnt seem to be possible... ever. I just dont understand this.... am I being too selfish? I just dont understand.... things were going really great today.... but I was crushed by someone.... then crushed by someone else... and it all just snowballed.... and here I am... broken again.... Keith said in his blog a few days ago about why he can't just be normal.... and I have to say that I question the same thing. Why can't I just be the normal "asshole" you see walking around that doesnt get screwed by anyone.... the one that people dont take advantage of... Why do I have to deal with these "mental issues" that I have and why do I have to deal with people constantly breaking my heart. Why cant I be the person that can find that girl almost instantly... the one that doesnt struggle to find someone but the person that gets to choose between tons of options. I'm sure there is a reason but right now its hard to understand why.....

Thankfully, my shift is just about over so I can go home soon and get to bed I guess..... At least I had a few hours of happiness today.... that was more than I can say for the last week combined