There is a somewhat natural mental defense that we all have that if we get a positive through something that we felt negatively, then we act negatively again in order to receive the same positive. We all do it but some do it more than others. But the thing is you have to know that it is a natural defense that is built in our mind. It's the way God created it but it doesn't always have benefits in every situation. Think about me that struggles with pornography and such. The sexual desire to be with a girl is a natural thing that God gave all men for a reason and a very good reason. But when that becomes the ruler of my life, then it is harmful. The same is true in this situation. The defense you have in your mind is an important thing that God has given you. You may just over use it. Its not that you're a horrible person, its just that you need to mature in that area, the same way I need to mature in other areas. This is why there is the body of Christ. We all overcome things and then help others with the same things. Some of us are really good at one thing that we can help others with, and those people we help can help us right back with something else. The important thing is that you are open to listening and taking in what others have to say and really truly have the attitude that everyone can help everyone and that that IS the way God intended it. That's the purpose of the Body of Christ and that is why we are all very different people. It's the way we were designed.
Please understand that I do care about all of you and I always will. But in some cases, I am just not able to help you. You can (and need) to look to others, including myself, for help but the ultimate help will come from God. The thing is God will use other people to speak to you so if you completely ignore all that people tell you, you may actually be ignoring what God is telling you. But on the other hand, you cant only look to other people because you have to realize that the ultimate answer does come from God Himself.
Just also please understand that I am a really busy person in most cases. I am usually behind on doing stuff and sometimes I do get stressed and just need time to myself. One of my biggest problems is that I never take time for myself but its something that I have started to work on. Just please understand that if I don't respond to a message right away or even if I totally forget to respond to one, it is not because I don't care it is because I am working on something that I need to work on and that is taking time for myself. I want to help everyone I possibly can but I am realizing that not taking any time for myself actually makes me less effective because I need that time to regenerate and thus be more effective the next time someone needs my help.
Thank you to everyone for all that you have been doing in my life. I am happy to be a part of this Body of Christ and I am even happier when I can be used by God to bring Joy into someone's life. I enjoy helping people.... and I guess that is the thing that God gave me that is really healthy but yet I overuse and create the adverse effect sometimes.