Im really not doing well.... The more that life goes on the more I start realizing that I'm not someone that anyone wants to be with.... I'm not someone to love... I'm nothing more than someone to take advantage of. I always want to help with the needs of others but when it comes to my needs, no one is there for me.... it seems like they never are. I really feel like I am alone in this world. I dont know what to account for this.... I just dont get it. I know that my work schedule doesnt help either.... this whole weekend I didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends from church... alot of times they plan on doing stuff Friday night.... but I'm, of course, at work.

I really wish things could change... I really wish that there was something I could do... and above all, I really wish there was someone in my life that was always there for me.... I dont feel like the person I want to be.... but, on the other hand, I dont feel like I'm a person that anyone would ever want to be with....

I wish this day could have been alot different.... but it seems I'm always just wishing for something that never will happen. Such is my life I guess.....