Well, I'm up and I'm ready.... got some things to do this afternoon and then I'm working from 4pm until 7am.... long shift so I'm not gonna be sleeping for quite a while and didnt get much sleep last night either.... The good thing is after I leave work at 7am I can sleep indefinately.... well, except for the fact that I'm on-call... so if my pager goes off, I might have to kill someone (just kidding, of course).
Lot's of stuff going on... still waiting for God to give me the direction He wants me to go in. I got a VERY encouraging email. I'm pretty active on my blog here about almost everything that goes on in my life... and I also send out emails to some people that are really close to me with even more details of things going on. I look at it in many different ways but one aspect is that if there is anything in my life that is a testimony to others, then it is my prayer that by blogging and sending out these emails I touch someone's life and help them realize something that they may not have been able to. God told us to live our lives as a testimony to Him and my prayer is that this blog and my emails do just that. But I think an important aspect of that is to be real. Yes, people will judge you.... but I think that if the only thing others see about us is only how "good" we are, then, to them it becomes hippocritical because no one is perfect. "All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God" (Rom 3:23). It's my prayer that if I can present my life in it's entirety, that I can reach someone in a deeper way. Sure I'm open to alot of criticism... and thats not always bad, is it? But if I show others that I am a real person, and in doing that I touch only one person, then it was all worth it.
Things are hectic in my life right now but the quote I heard in New Orleans that still rings in my mind is "God doesn't let an ounce of hurt go unused". If the pain I experience now helps someone else later, then it was all worth it. Jesus lived a life of servitude, and I want to be as close to the life of Christ that I can be. I'm nowhere near perfect... I'm a real person just trying to be something that is better than real: A servant of Christ.