Sunday, October 02, 2005

A night full of emotion.....

It actually was a really good day. I woke up late afternoon and attacked some errands that I needed to run (catching up from being in LA) and then came back and just relaxed and watched TV for a while. I then met up with Kim for dinner and then we went back to her house and Rebecca met us there.... they introduced me to Maggie Moo and we met up with Nathan there.... just when you thought Ben and Jerry were the hereos.... anyway.... Kim, Rebecca, and myself went back to Kim's and watched "Ladder 49" ... and that was where the play of emotions began. First was when Jack talked about the ring his mom gave him.... he talked about how when it points to your heart and doesnt point to your heart and he turned it around indicating he was taken by Linda..... It may not have touched many people but because of how I was introduced to the concept of that ring over a year ago it meant alot to me and I caught myself almost crying. I continued to watch the life of Jack.... someone who risks his life on a day to day basis saving the lives of others.... someone who makes a difference. Multiple times through the movie I caught myself with tears in my eyes.... the way Linda was so proud of Jack.... and no matter what happened, the way she always stuck by him and dealt with what was apparently his life calling. I realized so much of the life I wish to have.... The beautiful wife that means everything to me... the beautiful kids that mean just as much to me.... and a life of selflessness and service to others. I want to make a difference in this world.... When my life is done I want people to be able to say that I made a difference and I dont want people to mourn my life ending but I want people to be there to celebrate my life. I want to leave behind a better world....

Can I? I dont know.... I feel so insignificant in this world. I feel like such a small person in the scope of everything and sometimes I feel that my dreams are too much to ask.... even the dream of being the best husband and best father seems so far-fetched to me at times.

All I can continue to do is my best.... my best to look to God and walk, day to day, step by step, in complete Faith.

1 comment:

Stephen McGuire said...

Insignificant? Let's see how did those people in LA resond to you and your friends helping? The Lord says to do things through his strength not our own. To do his will and to continue to Love one another.

Satan wants you to think in such a manner that you'll be so overwhelmed that you will do nothing. Satan loves it when the people in the Lord's Church do nothing.

I'm not saying life is easy but it is easier when you understand your enemy and his tactics.

The Lord's work that you did in LA was not and is not in vain.

You've touched lives and shared the Lord's message.