Man am I struggling.... There is just so much on my mind.... If its not finances, its jobs, if its not jobs, its relationships, if its not relationships, it's something else..... I want so badly to be loved by a girl that will never leave me.... So many people mean so much to me.... I just want to mean that much to at least one other person.... I broke into tears tonight at work..... I'm so close to my breaking point it's not even funny..... something has to change soon.... I need something... I need something happy.... I was hoping that Eli would be coming down with my dad this weekend so I could see him and spend some time with him.... it would have cheered me up.... but why would someone let that happen? I'm designed for this life to be misserable it seems.... I'm struggling so bad.... I have my faith in God but there is still so much pain right now... it's hurting so bad..... too much going on.... I really dont know how much longer I can hang in there.....

Please keep me in your prayers!