Its so hard to deal with the things I have to deal with... In fact its impossible. But that is why God said He is always with us. We don't have to do it by ourselves.
I have never had a 100% direction in my life and even tho I get criticised about that, I realize that it is by design. Had I ever had a direction, I would have missed out on a lot of things God had for me. Is my life the ideal life for the logic of this world? Not at all.... But as Christians, we are not of this world. Would I trade my life for the ideal life? not a chance! Sure I have given up a lot of dreams and goals - and I'm glad I did.
I'm just here doing what I do until God shows me something else and says to go.