Yaknow... I watch my blogs and I realize that I am seriously going downhill drastically. I really seriously need prayer.... lots of it.... I'm scared again... Really scared. I called Dr. Gaul.. well, his office to leave a message for him.... I know this isnt his field but I dont know who else to call... its not like I have my therapist or anything.... I dont even know when I'll see a psychiatrist again.... I dont know if its my insurance company's fault or what... it probably is... no insurance company likes to deal with mental health so you always seem to get shit from them.... all I know is this all sucks... all of it... everything.