Sunday, October 17, 2004

I think I realized something about myself. People always wonder why I'm so into having a girl friend... and I think I figured it out. It has always seemed to me that a friendship is something that you just... you just have.... my experience with friends is that you talk and you know each other and you call them friends.... the majority of my friends... ok, ALL of my friends dont want to "go out" often... if at all.... many have girlfriends/wives that take up their time... to me, its been when I've had a girlfriend that I actually get to do stuff.... go see movies, go to parks, go to places like dave and busters.... just hang out.... its only when I have a girlfriend taht I get to do that stuff. So I think thats maybe why I want to have a girlfriend as badly as I do... just so I can get out of the house.... well, let me change that a little bit... that is NOT the only reason why... there are plenty of others.... but getting out of the house is big.

1 comment:

alwayshope said...

Bob, being a fellow manic depressive & married to one I know how you feel. It's so much easier to hide away from the world when you're alone. But it's in that isolation we get those crazy ideas that our lives don't matter. Then as we dwell on the pain it intensifies until it doesn't matter if we live or not. Not always suicidal but just kinda hoping to crawl in some dark hole & sleep until there's a better day. Of course reason says if you're sleeping how are you going to know it's a better day. LOL! But who ever said MD was rational? But force yourself to go eat at a soup kitchen & visit a mission & notice the needs. See something you're good at, jump right in & help. Very few will object. You have to climb outside yourself. Don't know why it works. But it does. There are worse things than being alone. It took a really wrong marriage to prove it to me. I was alone for the better part of 5 yrs. & in several bad relationships just to keep from being alone. It was when I made up my mind I was going to quit focusing so much on finding someone & turned my attention to others & improving my life things began changing. It sounds like pop psychology until you get it out of your head & into your heart. But it's true. Life really is worth living despite the suffering. Oh btw I say Go Bush,too.