I think tonight is my frist real down night since I've come out of the hospital... lots of stuff is getting to me.... mainly to start it all of, all of my friends avoid me... no one ever wants to do anything with me.... secondly I am still being haunted by what a friend of mine did to me while I was in the hospital.... I dont know about intentions any more... I want to talk about it but Im affraid to bring it up.... the results of it are still haunting me and becuase of it the answer that I need to know I will never find the answer to. Now, on top of it all... I have had the door slammed on my face publicly... I dont know if its really what she wants.... it could REALLY be the results of my friend's actions.... and I will never know.

I'm going to bed soon... I really hope I feel better when I wake up.