Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Another day is about to begin..... both jobs today.

Im confused again.... I dont know what is best.... last night Gwen kinda blew me off.... it may not have been intentional.... I dunno.... I should (hopefully) get to talk to her today. Sometimes tho I feel like someone is praying that things dont work out for me... I mean, some of the crazy crap that happens to me is just insane. I think that another issue with Gwen is Kari (my sister).... I think she may have said something to Gwen. My sister always had a problem with me being friends with her friends.... I thought she was over that, but maybe not. That upsets me tho... its like im not good enough for her friends.

I dont know whats going on with Tiff.... last night I had two people tell me not to give up just yet. I dont want to.... I really love Tiffany.... but how am I going to trust her again if she does come back? I mean she told me how much she loved me and everything and then she went back to Jim to try to make things work. It seemed like she really wanted to leave me. As much as I wanted her and Jim to still be friends, I dont know if I could handle that after what has happened.

I know I'm going to get criticism from this.... my friends who read this will probably attack me.... to those people I want to say that I will be ok. I am not giving up on Gwen or any other girl.... there are indications right now but there is nothing solid. I am single right now and I am gonna live as such. If a girl comes along today, I'm going to ask her out.... I'm not living as though im single. Tiff is still going to have to act quick. The people who talked to me last night only bought her a little bit of time.

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