Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Just checking in to say I'm still alive... tho I'm pretty numb
emotionally. While I'm doing well and not really down, I am just out of
it.... seems not much makes me happy anymore... nothing to ever look
forward to. I dunno.... I just feel really odd.... Its like I just
wait and wait and wait for something exciting to happen, but it never
does. When I do get out and do something, its by myself so even if
there was an opportunity to have some fun and relax there is no one to
share it with -- and for me, if I dont have someone to share the
experience with, then its not worth as much and its sometimes worth alot
less than even that.... The hardest problem to deal with is not being
able to explain in words how I feel. Here I am writing this post....
wanting to say something but not knowing how to say it or really, what
it even is. I dunno... I'm alive and I'm getting some stuff
accomplished, but its just going through the motions I guess.... on the
bright side, I guess I cant say I'm depressed.... *shrug*

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