Sunday, June 11, 2006

I am really not feeling well today.... not totally sure whats up but I think its a mixture of physical and emotional. I just dont feel right... I know there have been some issues with my stomach and the medicine im on again is starting to make it worse it seems... and I've been plagued with headaches which I'm starting to think might be because I'm not really eating.... Why? I dont know.... its a mixture of time and my stomach I think.... So, I'm sure thats not good.... but then there is the emotional... I just feel blah.... I'm just stuck in a rut maybe and headed towards that phase every tech goes through once a year that we call burn out.... Actually, its sometimes more frequent. With everything everyone has been requiring of me it's really running me down... If I could get away with doing just the stuff for my church and for MFC, I would be happy... and might even have time to do the computer stuff that *I* need to get done for me. All I know is I'm not doing well and I wish something would change.... I could use something exciting... actually, I could just use a friend.... I've lost alot in my life and while I may have also gained alot since then, I still miss what I have lost and I think the biggest reason for that is because I know I was the asshole that screwed it all up.... life goes on tho and I'm trying to make the best of my post-screw-up.... There is only one thing harder than losing a friend - losing multiple friends.

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