Sunday, September 05, 2004

The problem now is that... Oh I don't even know. I will now forever beat myself up that I hurt tanya and now I'm affraid that ill never want to go back to her for anything because ill hurt her again. That's ruined now. Her words in her blog... Oh so much like tiffs....whether intent was the same or not I have to put defenses up in my brain. And if me hurting her causes her to go back to tim I really will want to kill myself. I was out of it an hour ago and all tanya could do was try to proove she was right.... Another thing I never hear when things go bad for me is sorry... There was no time for that tho.... Putting me down and showing me what was wrong was more important.

Oh and maybe me breaking up with tanya was my choice... No matter that I didn't want it... I did it for tanya and eli and I remained in their lives like I promised and I was never against getting back with tanya. No matter that on friday I chose to start working on that.... But now my mind has to rethink it.

When I accept that no one cares I will be better off.

1 comment:

Tanya said...

bobby i am sorry that things went the way they did but i was angry because you treated and compared me to tiff and i never treated you like she did. all i was doing was talking about how things ended up to now. i feel like some of it is my fault that you and tiff couldn't work things out, i should have seen from the begining that you needed time to heal and figure things out. yes you did all that you promised but i need you as a friend, like you say you need me and that means you have to try to put things into context. i never said that i didn't care or that i was going back to him all i said was that everyone would have been better off(tim,you,chris,eli) if i would have just stayed with him that includes myself to. i hate the fact that you are hurting right now and i blame that on myself as well. i should have let you get over tiff first. then maybe you wouldn't be as bad as you are right now. well i have to go but please think about what i said and if you don't want to talk anymore then please tell me in person not anyway else. just to let you know that i really appreciate what you have done for us to keep eli happy and that you are there for me when i need you. talk to you later.