One thing I have noticed over the last few days, and is shown again tonight, is that I have become alot more emotional. This is a good thing. Now, I cant say that I'm going to enjoy crying may way through this situation but at least I am again feeling my emotions rather than hiding them. I wont lie... what I learned tonight hurts... and hurts real bad... and what hurts even more is that it was meant to be a secret. There is no doubt in my mind that I will cry myself to sleep now.... and I mean real tears.... but at least I'll be able to release... at least I'll be able to feel this emotion and take it for what its for.... I cant start to accept emotions until I start to feel them.... and I think this is a good thing. It hurts like hell... I really does... but I'll make it. I will make it... I WILL MAKE IT!