Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I'm still on my way home from va... Just crossed the pa line.

About 5 mins ago my mom called me in a crying style voice asking if I had any meds in my room to help her tooth... No I didn't but I wanted to just scream and yell about the scenario... I didnt... She is my mom. My head started hurting.... Chest started hurting... Yup... Panic attack.

As I was leaving va I got stuck behind a truck driving 30 mph. I got so angry. I just started wanting to punch things. That sorta thing has always upset me but this was different. This was real anger.... Headache was there too.

I have some serious issues and I don't want to go through them. I am about to become a psych paitient and I hate it... Because I know the truth now. I am psychotic. Whether it was someone who put me there or not.... I'm just psychotic.

And btw... I don't want anymore bad news.... None. I have been there for people my whole life and have never expected anything in return.... I can't do it anymore. I don't care what pain your in... I don't care who called you a name.... I don't care if your cat died.... I just can't take it anymore..... I can't even directly talk to some one about MY problems because ill know they'll have their solution to tell me which will differ from the other hundred I've been told.

in short.... Just shut up and let me suffer by myself. I am doing just fine suffering... I don't need anyone else to create more.

God I need help.

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