Thursday, February 09, 2006
Things are looking up I guess.... If only I could find a girl that actually cared about me and thought I was attractive and nice and I was someone worth being with.... someone who wouldnt lie to be or break promises would be nice too.... I'm really getting worried tho... I'm starting to get a hard heart in that aspect.... I've been here before I guess.... I told myself I wasnt ever going to trust anyone again.... then for some reason I trusted Tiff.... and as a result, I'm destroyed.... but then again, I guess I trusted Carpathia and got destroyed there but good things are coming out of that.... maybe the purpose of Tiff was just that.... just to hurt me so bad that I learned something out of it. I really dont want to believe that she hates me... but yet, there isnt any evidence that she cares about me so I guess I can only assume ... someday maybe I'll realize that she doesnt care about me.... but until then, I guess I'll just be destroying myself over and over again.... thing that sucks is this is probably exactly what she wants..... for me to suffer like this. *sigh* ... So close to a perfect world yet, the last piece of the puzzle I dont think will ever fit..... oh well.... I have exciting things ahead and I'm going to try to focus on those.