So I've already wrote two posts and deleted them.... I dont understand whats going on in this stage of my life.... Carpathia was negative but yet alot of positive came out of it... the same as every other negative situation.... but right now, everything points to the fact that Tiff was a negative scenario in my life.... but was/is she? This psychological nightmare I'm going through is something that I guess I have to go through.... right now, I dont see the positive of Tiff being in my life.... and a big part of me wants to just curse the day that I sat down with her in Bentley Hall.... yet, is there something more? Why was she in my life? Why is she in my life? I just dont understand.... everyone tells me to move on.... and so many times I get to that point... I'm ready to move on.... and then next thing you know, life brings me right back around to Tiff whether it be in my mind or in the physical world.

All these negative things and yet there have been positives.... when will I see the positive of having met Tiff? Fox Mulder put it best.... "I want to believe".....

So I guess this is the post that stays on my blog.... I've got one screwed up head..... but you know what, alot of great things are happening for me right now.... alot of great things... maybe this is where I find out the positive that Tiff served too? I can only hope.... thats a word I havent used in relation to Tiff in a while.... hope.....