Thursday, March 09, 2006

In the last few days I've had three dreams that seem pretty substantial. I very rarely put much thought into my dreams but these dreams seem to link to some very huge things that have happened and I think paints some pretty big fears in my life right now.

The first dream was me walking out from somewhere to find my car completely dinged up and scratched, etc. It was pretty obvious that this damage was done by the car parked to me. I called the cops and they came on site and found the owner of the neighboring car. That person hinted that it was his fault but would not admit that it was his. Without an official statement from him saying that it was his fault, he couldnt be prosecuted easily.

The second dream was me sitting in church. I was sitting next to all of my NoVA friends. All of a sudden there was an intermission and all of my friends got up and moved seats away from me. One friend made the comment of "why are we leaving Bob" but no one made mention of it. They left me.

The third dream was me driving around with my family to find a park to have some sort of party at. We found a really great park and made reservations. The day of the party came and there was a huge flood that wiped everything out. The waters had dried up by this point, however. There were a lot of people wandering around trying to find something. My goal was to find an old "Top 50 things in the world" list (weird, I know). On my quest to find this list I bumped into someone else. We found this list which was painted on a wall. Most of the list had been destroyed but there were some things that remained. In reading what remained we both realized that what was on this list was completely absurd and made no sense. It was dissapointing to find that we searched very hard for something that wasnt even worth it.

The first dream paints a picture of a big fear that seems to have materialized. While there is an outside chance that maybe Tiff isn't dating someone else, the fact remains that she is hiding something from me. There are hints of lies but without a confession, it becomes very hard to process those thoughts.

The second dream is pretty straightforward. With everything that has been going on, this is a huge fear of mine. It often seems that many people dont have time for me and in my past I've always been too much for people to deal with and I've ultimately ended up losing them. It's my fear that this is happening again.

The third dream occured last night. I think this shows me that some things just aren't worth searching for or fighting for. I've fought for something for years now that just isnt worth fighting for. Things were destroyed for a reason but yet I kept searching and searching only to find out that they were destroyed for a GOOD reason. Now I can move on to another "park" and search for something (or in this case, someone) that is more meaningful to me.

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