Its kind of a down day for me... Been a bit stressful... Kinda anxious about whether my car will pass inspection tomorrow.... If it doesn't, as of friday I legally can't drive it.
This is one of those nights I wish I could go home and curl up with my girl.... But I guess it helps if you have a girl.... Lots of things rushing around in my mind today.... One of those is trying to figure out what I could have done differently so that Tiff wouldn't have given up on me. I don't know... I guess... Well... I *know* its God's will for me to be single now.... But for how long? Maybe till tomorrow? I guess the toughest thing is that I haven't even heard from Tiff.... I was so obsessed with seeing her accomplish her dream of becoming a vet.... And now I don't even know if she is still alive... I wrote her a letter... Well a couple... And I haven't heard anything... I'd love to know.... But then again if it's not God's will for us to be together then its probably for the better.
Just a lot on my mind.... I know great things are right around the corner for.... The perfect girl is one of those. Ill be fine.... Just gotta get through the next few weeks.
Please keep me in your prayers.
2 comments:
Had this been a year ago, I would have said that you were completely on target.... right now tho, its not an issue of loving myself or not or is it the fact that I need to rely on someone to be happy.... right now it boils down to, primarily, caring about someone that meant the world to me... wanting to see her suceede.... And wanting to curl up with someone doesnt mean that I won't survive without it. I guess if you think of someone who doesnt have a TV and one night they just get completely bored.... it would be really nice if they had a TV so they could sit down, watch some TV, and relax... they arent going to die without TV... it just might have made the night a little bit nicer....
My down day isnt related to not having a girl... there are alot of other things that have brought me down today.... and for some reason I started thinking about Tiff tonight and just wondering where she is and how she's doing... I care about her... and I always will.... There are plenty of people in my life now that God could more than certainly bring me closer and closer to.... I dont know what His will is tho... and I'm not going to claim to. Yes, it would be nice if Tiff would call me up and one thing led to another and we got back together.... truth is that I can't bank on that... I'm not against it, but I can't plan my life around that. She had her reasons for giving up on me.... and I have to respect her decission.... We'll let God take care of the rest....
But basically.... I really am at a point in my life where I can live without someone.... it just would be nice if I didnt have to.
Believe me... there are plenty of oppritunities that God is opening up for me.... and I am not closing my eyes to anything that God may be doing. There have been alot of amazing people come into my life since Tiff left me.... and I open to not only them but also to the possibility of Tiff coming back.... whatever God wants is what I will do.
And, Stevie... you didnt upset me at all... no worries :)
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