It is a great feeling to know that you are where the Lord has called you to. I'm not perfect... I'm far from it.... I struggle with alot.... but I know that I am where God wants me to be.

I learned something very important today in church..... depression is a huge thing in America today.... it's everywhere... there are so many people that are depressed.... there are many causes for those an inside of those causes some are situational and some are clinical.... some are a combination of both. I am not against medicine, as you know.... but we've always accounted depression being internal if its clinical and external if it's situational. What people fail to realize is what is situational but internal......

Forgiveness..... its one of the best cures for many many many cases of depression.... Marsha Linehan, PhD, started a treatment program that is being used in many clinical hospitals.... this was the case in the program I went through at Western Psych. The baseline of this series is the saying "It is what it is" .... and after today I realize that secular society is just *STARTING* to catch up with what God has already been saying. It is what it is... and it can't be changed.... and the series basically explains how to cope with things and not be angry about what has happened because "it is what it is" ... but really.... when wrong has been done to you, you can obsess so much on getting even.... forgiving someone is the best way to put some cares behind you. Forgiveness is NOT excusing people.... it is only forgiving... it's giving up your right to get even..... This is why Jesus told Peter that we need to forgive people 70x7. Jesus also says alot about forgiveness in Mathew 18 when he says about the king forgiving the 10,000 talents. The amount of that money is such that someone in those days could not earn even in 200,000 lifetimes..... this is a huge debt... more than we could even imagine. The king forgave this man... and as this man left he was given an oppritunity to share what had been done and instead, he didnt change his heart and had someone thrown in jail.

I think all of this makes sense as to why we are a "Prozac Nation" as the movie put it that I spoke of a couple of weeks ago. Think about our nation.... no one forgives anyone.... we are a sue crazy nation.... I had to deal with this myself... but I realize that the forgiveness I can give is more than anyone could ever pay me. We're always out to get even. This is what stresses us out so much and depresses us.... if we could learn to forgive, we would certainly be a better people.

I have done wrong to people and people have done wrong to me. In the past few weeks I have been hurt multiple times and drasticly by people.... but my job is to forgive.... and it can only be my prayer that those others forgive me as well. So is the lack of forgiveness my problem? Hey, it just might be..... what I do know is that its at least part of it. I believe that I do have some clinical stuff.... but I also know that if I want to continue coping with those issues I need to start learning how to forgive people. Even with one incident I might need to forgive the 70x7 that Jesus spoke of. People have hurt me in my past... and there are times where those things come back to me.... its my job to forgive again.

Is it too hard to forgive? No... its hard... but not too hard.... think of what Jesus forgave us of. We should all be going to hell.... but He saved us through His death on the cross..... He gave His life.... not only did he die but he was tortured.... I think we need to remember this each and every day. Jesus came down to this earth.... to live like us.... to learn what we go through.... so that He could feel it.... and ultimately He did it to not only for that but to lay down His life for us. Next time someone hurts you.... think of it as experiencing just a fraction of a percent of what Jesus felt.... and then try to think just how serious that pain is.... doesnt looks so big anymore, does it?