So my last post has had alot of comments and they still might be going on.... I just wanted to post some things here in mainstream... and I also wanted to say a few things about leaving comments on my blog.
First tho... my current situation. My car's registration expires tomorrow night at midnight and in the state of VA you can not re-register your car without having a valid emissions sticker.... my car has failed misserably... twice. This means that I have to get the thing diagnosed, fixed, and inspected again before midnight tomorrow. The biggest problem with this is that my rent is due on Friday.... in order to pay for fixing my car, that leaves me without my rent payment... and that also is bad in the state of VA... they can evict you within 2 weeks. So I'm in a pretty scary situation at the moment. I have an appointment for my car tomorrow... the emissions estimate is $79... that includes no work at all.... so the price is getting steep already.... but I dont have much of a choice, I guess. With all this inspection stuff I literally did not sleep at all last night.... about an hour ago I put an away message up that I was going to get a couple hours of sleep before work and immediately I got an email asking me to come in early.... well in the long run this may be good.... this means I can push myself a little bit but be done around 10pm so that I can actually get a decent sleep (plus I'll be tired enough to actually fall asleep) and get up early to get my car taken care of. At this point, I dont know where my rent money is coming from.... but I guess I'll leave that in God's Hands... He's provided so far.
Now, regarding my last post... it seems there is alot of speculation on how I feel about Tiff.... I guess the truth is I'm not even sure.... I know this... I care about her alot. I dont understand why she gave up on me and walked away from me.... and I really dont understand why she hasnt responded to any of the letters that I sent her (basically I dont understand why she is ignoring me).... but I'm not meant to understand this stuff right now.... I respect her decissions.... Is it hard on me? Yes, of course.... this is the girl that I planned on spending my life with.... I dont know whats going on... a big part of me says Jim came back into the picture. I dont know if thats true or not... but even if it is, that is her decission... She needs to do what she feels is best for her.... all I can do is let her go.... I know that I have God on my side and that even tho people fail me and let go of me, I know that He will never let God. No matter how much of a pain I am to deal with... or how much of a horrible person I am or become, He will never leave me.... I am completely open to whatever God does. He has filled my life with some amazing people since Tiff left me.... why? Right now its nothing more than I need that friendship that I lost with Tiff... Where will those relationships go? I don't know... I'm not going to put words in God's mouth... I'll let Him do whatever it is that He is doing.... It is in His hands.... If I am to be with Tiff, she'll come back.... until then, I will respect her and let her make the decission to call me or whatnot.... If I am to be with someone else, great... whatever God wants is what is best for me and that is the route I am taking. My eyes are NOT closed to other possibilities.... in the past, they have been.... currently, they are on God and what He is doing.
Now, regarding comments... please post them as much as you can. It really helps me when I know that people are actually reading and taking an intrest in my life... and never feel that you are offending or upsetting me.... it really takes alot to tick me off.... You can attack me and what I do all you want.... and I'll respond back.... but dont feel that you've offended me and don't feel like I am attacking you back.... All of this helps me iron out what is going on in this crazy little brain of mine.
Here are a few ground rules for posting comments:
* Please post them all you can
* Do not attack God in any way. If you want to attack my religion or my bleifs, that is fine but do NOT attack God directly.
* Do not attack Tiff... No arguments here... just dont do it. I know whats going on in some of your heads... and that is fine... but keep it to yourself. I care deeply about Tiff and I still have alot of respect for her. She does not deserve to be attacked by you.... and in all honesty, all your going to do is upset me too.... so you won't accomplish anything.
I think those are about it.... I have about 10 hours to go till I can drop my car off and get my butt to bed.... boy am I looking forward to it. God, give me the strength.....