Thursday, September 11, 2003

It really seems as though the new medicine is working. I'm sad about things such as tiff leaving but im not depressed.... I dont want to die.... I want to see what is coming my way in life. It feels really good to be able to wake up in the morning and actually go to lunch with jim and jason and to actually live my life more than just at work. It looks like Lithium and Prozac is the best solution for me.... lets hope it keeps working. We'll have to see what happens once I come off of the Periactin.... Im on that for the withdrawl symptons I was having from the effexor. I think I'll be ok. Only time will tell tho.

Last night I had a crazy dream. I dreamt that I was in prison.... I dont remember what for but I remember that it was something stupid that people just dont go to prison for. Tiff was visiting with me and we were talking. It actually felt good. I dont want this to be a "how-much-I-miss-tiff-log" but I guess that thats whats on my mind alot. I know that any day now another amazing girl could walk into my life and that things would be great that way. It is tough being in the position that im in but, well.... im doing ok. Right now I know that I love tiff.... and I know that she loves me. If its meant to be, her and Jim will drift apart and the answers will be clear.... if not, some day an amazing girl is going to walk into my life and things will be perfect -- although I cant imagine someone more perfect for me than tiff. Only time will tell. I'm excited to see what happens.

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