Sometimes this emotional roller coaster is a lot worse than other times.... last night into today has been one of those times. One hour of the day, I feel great... then all of a sudden, my mind just messes with me, I guess. The only thing that is seemingly constant is this nagging feeling of loneliness. And I don't know what, if any, solution there is for that... I mean, I can feel extreme loneliness in the presence of many other people. I could be having a great time talking to people and yet, still, I feel lonely.

Things are definately a lot better know that I am working at Fox Mill Pets and I am interacting with people -- and doing something that I feel is much more rewarding than any data center job I've had. There is no doubt that it is better.... on that whole aspect of my life, I am so much better than I was 4 months ago... and especially a year or two ago while working for Carpathia. Things are getting better.... but I guess it's that nagging going on that I am 26 and I really want to have a family to care for and care for me....

I don't know what the answer to this day is...