Well, first of all... im a wreck....
I had a therapist appt today... I took a prescreener for ADD and I rated EXTREMELY high.... so there is a good chance I may be diagnosed with that... truth is, I could care less what they diagnose me with as long as they can figure something out to make me feel better.
I really am starting to struggle all over the place... things are getting really bad.... nothing motivates me to do anything anymore.... I'm not happy.... I'm just flat out misserable. My therapist was in shock that I am able to function and at least go through the motions of a day. She was ready to write me an excuse for work.... I told her that I know I have to do it so I do.... I do it the best I can... I have issues that may set back what my best is... but at least I do my best. Maybe I have something going for me... I just dont feel like it.... things are bad.... I see my psychiatrist next Monday.... can you believe this is still only the first time? It's been well over 2 months since I've been out of the hospital and I am just now getting to see one...... I hope the Dr. can help me... I need help... things have been out of whack for way too long.... WAY too long.
I'm a mess.... and its not because of anyone at all... it's because of me... its because of who I am..... Maybe I'm just meant to be a mess?
Gosh.. I'm hurting so bad.... I have no reason to hurt.... but I am... I'm hurting :(