Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I keep starting to write something tonight but I always end up getting nowhere. There are a lot of good things going on right now but not really anything I need to tell the world about. In some ways I think my life has always been purposed for the comfort of others and I've loved that... But for right now, its not about that. Maybe God is working on the relief and the dreams that I have been looking for or maybe it will all end tomorrow and ill have yet another lesson to have learned. My hope is that it doesn't end - but my problem is I'm scared of the past repeating its self. Oddly, it seems I experience more anxiety when things are good for the fear that ill lose those things.

I guess it seems that I never did complete the last turn on the path that is my life - I'm still en route. The interesting thing is it seems the second half of the turn is all mental. I have the house and everything else but now that I have more tools, its time to learn how to use them.

I posted an away message a couple days ago that said "I guess you can't do everything to help someone, but if you truly care that won't stop you from trying". One concept I have learned kind of relates: the more you care about someone, the less you care about yourself.

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