Saturday, October 27, 2007

This past week has really brought some anxiety with it. Between wondreing how I'm going to do without my one medicine because I can't afford a doctors appointment to my laptop finally completely biting the dust, to worrying about important people in my life..... I really could go on. I'm really worried about a lot of things right now but that's not the purpose of this Blog.

Since I have moved to Warren County I have really been liking it. I do really like my house and I really like the fact that it is back in the woods. I really like sitting at my computer and watching the squirrels run around outside my window.... Or the deer that share these woods with me as their home. The problem? Me forgetting to actually take the time to enjoy these things.

Right now I'm sitting on my back deck... The moon is shining through the trees, the breeze is blowing leaves on the trees... There is a dog barking in the distance.... Deer passing through my yard.... And the traffic on the interstate is off in the distance as a reminder that there is a time to be in that mess and a time to enjoy the blessing that God has given me by retreating from all of that mess at night.

Its amazing how nature takes care of it's self and yet we are constantly stressed and frustrated. The difference is that nature just let's things happen and we second guess everything that comes our way. We are such a proud species that we can control our fate, yet all we do is screw it up. We ignore our gut feelings in order to follow our human logic which is obviously flawed ... Only to some day realize that our gut feeling was right. And our logic tells us to learn from our mistakes but yet the next time our intuision tells us something, we promptly ignore it in order to find that it was, yet again, correct.

I really can not understand why we act the ways that we do and how we ignore evidence that we are bringing more problems on ourselves. I guess that's our pride again. We just don't want to admit that maybe we were wrong.

We have been given so much but we forbid ourselves to accept that because there is more out there. We forbid ourselves to enjoy what we have because it simply isn't "good enoug" despite the fact that it may be the answer to some dreams but the problem is there are now better dreams.

We forget to enjoy the blessings that are in our lives and we lose them because we just simply could not admit that that single blessing was "good enough"

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