Thursday, December 14, 2006

Tonight is the first in a while that I have had trouble falling asleep... Ive been thinking about a few things and Im gonna try to get them out.

I think its safe to say that just about every day we face fears and every day we have to decide whether we win or our fears win... and its so much easier to let our fears win. I think its our instinct to run from trouble and from our problems... its easier to lie to ourselves than to face our fears... and then we condition ourselves so that the only options we see are the options that involve lying.... we start the ball rolling down the hill and we end up out of control.... once that happens. its then even easier to just let go and let the mess continue. I mean, have you ever tried to stop a rolling snowball that is 10 times your size.... we eventually look around and realize the mess that we have created and I guess we may feel overwhelmed... so we just give up all together? Maybe this is why there are so many suicides now?

I think back over the last few years of my life. I thank God that He has really got me to a place where I can really face fears and put my faith in Him.... but yet, there are still many things that end up snowballing for me. I let my gaurd down for less than a few seconds and next thing I know I am trapped in a world of addictions. I guess my fear is that Ill never be free.

The point is that we really need to overcome our fears. There is so much excitement when we do.... and so much more freedom. Even at work I sometimes feel trapped because of my fear of mice... and I am working on it.... but the fact that I am now able to stand next to the small animal pens and see how many mice we have.... well, it makes me feel good. Its a huge accomplishment to me.

Whatever our fears are, we need to work at overcomming them. Maybe its the fear of riding a roller coaster... and you get on and have the ride of your life. Maybe its a fear of breaking something but you try to fix it anyway and you gain a skill that helps you in life..... maybe something you feel like you should do for someone but your affraid of the reaction and you do it anyway and see a smile that warms your heart.... maybe you see the girl of your dreams and you overcome your shyness and end up happily married..... maybe its just reaching out to someone you lost touch with or a relationship that turned sour and you remember what they meant to you and the joy they brought you.

I do believe that God gave us mountains so that we could learn how to climb.

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