I am really glad that in the Bible we can see that even the great heroes were perpetually confused. Trying to understand this life is tough and trying to understand people is even more confusing. I am also really glad that in Christ, I have a direction.... whether I know what that direction is or not.

I am realizing how much I unintentionally annoyed people. Over the last 10 years of my life I have had many people really hurt me emotionally but the problem was that I let that ruin the few friends that were actually not hurting me. The problem was I was so consumed by my pain that I brought everyone else down.

So I am realizing this all now because I am on the other end of the spectrum. I am surrounded by people that are looking for something that I cant provide and they bring me down in the process. The worst part is that some of these people really make me feel uncomfortable.... some people use what I do have to offer as an excuse not to get better.... so then I am stuck in my own personality flaw of not being able to help someone and beating myself up over it..... so what do I do? I hate the fact that I cant help... but additionally I am affraid that the people who are now what I was will pull me back to that time of my life.... and thats just not good for anyone.