Well dad was down here for a while.... I had to give him some stuff to take back to PA and he had to bring some stuff down for me.... we started on our way to Target and I got paged so had to run to the data center... didnt take entirely too long but eventually I got back out and dad and I made it to target 10 mins before the closed... I was running around like mad trying to find a humidifier.... apparently they are popular down here because Target stocked maybe 5 models and they were out of every single one except one each of two models... so either way I got one.... then we went to IHOP.... good food.... everything was decorated for valentine's day.... yea... that's tomorrow... *sigh* .... I almost have some one but it still feels like a dud day.... then the couple sitting behind me..... they either just moved in together or were married or something.... I dunno.... but they were talking about valentine's day.... then they were talking about going grocery shopping together and getting stuff for their place..... *sigh* ... really kinda painful for me I guess..... I just wish that I was ... well, I wish that tomorrow would be different.... let's just say that..... but what happens happens.... it'll be ok, right?

Ive really been out of it today..... I didnt say much to dad when he was here.... then earlier today I was on the phone with tiff and she got upset with me because I wasnt saying much.... I didnt know what to say.... just really made me feel like I screwed up again..... I love Tiff to death... she is the person I want to share my life with... there is no doubt about that..... sometimes I just feel like I'll never compare.... or that im just not good enough for her.... I mean she is such an awesome girl... do I really deserve to have her? I just feel bad.... really feel like im not good enough.

Dont take this post the wrong way. Things are going really well for me down here in VA. I really am enjoying living down here.... it's great. I love my job and the people I work with... it's just great..... I guess maybe alot thats going on in my head is I just miss Tiff really badly..... and it doesnt help that tomorrow is valentine's day either.... and that Im not going to see her for two weeks and its' already been 2 weeks or so.... Things will get better im sure..... im not really worried... just kinda out of it I guess....