I tried to call Tiff a little bit ago but I couldnt get a hold of her.... finally I found a friend to talk to.... and helped me feel alot better. Maybe I'm just missing my feelings.... I'm surrendering my feelings to Tiff.... and just holding on to what I think should be but I'm totally neglecting myself. I really wish I could have talked to Tiff..... I needed to talk to her.... but ... maybe I just need to listen to my head a little bit. I have been listening to my heart for so long... and completely.... but maybe I have been totally ignoring my head..... I mean, your heart needs to be primary but you cant totally ignore your head..... I dunno... I'm so confused and scared right now.... I wish I had someone to just hold right now.... but I dont. I'm still at work... could be here for a while... and the hardest thing to do right now is to keep from crying. My mind is just going so fast. I dont like this... not at all.