Its starting to get annoying that I simply can not close my eyes without seeing Tiff's face.... and I sure as heck cant sleep without at least having one dream about her. The fact is that I can not live with out her.... the other fact is that Im going to have to learn how.

I still cant understand how she could decide to just throw all of this away. We both put so much into this relationship and both wanted this so badly. I dont understand how one day she can wake up and just say its not what she wants. Something else had to happen... I just wish she would tell me what that was. Often times the thing that hurts worse is not knowing why.

I had an appt with Dr. Gaul yesterday. We adjusted my medicine a bit.... hopefully this will help some. I'm trying so hard to piece my life back together. This is not an easy process. I have never put so much into a relationship.... I have never loved anyone like I loved Tiffany.... but I have to realize that that is behind me. I have to accept the fact that Tiff threw it all away. It hurts like hell.... but I have to do it.