I havent blogged in a while.... and dont really have time now... but here is a chat log that will pretty much explain my night.

05-06 [21:55] bobkmertz: I thought we both wanted this
05-06 [21:55] bobkmertz: but I guess we were wrong
05-06 [21:56] Tiffs Wolf Dance: ...I'm such a wreck
05-06 [21:56] Tiffs Wolf Dance: I can't take this
05-06 [21:56] bobkmertz: ok we're done tiff
05-06 [21:56] bobkmertz: we're done
05-06 [21:56] bobkmertz: your phone is shut off... its useless to you.... send it back
05-06 [21:56] bobkmertz: if your not going to talk
05-06 [21:56] bobkmertz: I cant keep fighting
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: "I love you Bobby - we can do it!"
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: can we?
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: well we can
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: but will we?
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: will you?
05-06 [21:58] Tiffs Wolf Dance: I do love you
05-06 [21:58] bobkmertz: oh?
05-06 [21:59] Tiffs Wolf Dance: how AM I TO TAKE THE PRESSURE
05-06 [21:59] bobkmertz: jims in the picture again?
05-06 [21:59] Tiffs Wolf Dance: this has nothing to do with jim
05-06 [21:59] bobkmertz: what does it then?
05-06 [21:59] bobkmertz: you wont tell me?
05-06 [21:59] bobkmertz: I can only assume
05-06 [21:59] Tiffs Wolf Dance: I'm under so much pressure
05-06 [22:00] Tiffs Wolf Dance: hold on, your mom
05-06 [22:00] bobkmertz: my poor mom
05-06 [22:13] bobkmertz: I didnt realize I put so much pressure on you
05-06 [22:13] bobkmertz: Im sorry.... I'll leave
05-06 [22:13] bobkmertz: I just wish you would have come to me when I did
05-06 [22:13] bobkmertz: ..... so we're back to ignoring me? :(
05-06 [22:13] Tiffs Wolf Dance: I've tried
05-06 [22:14] bobkmertz: ok tiff
05-06 [22:14] bobkmertz: this is the last conversation that we will have.... if we are going to break up, I am going to do it the right way......
05-06 [22:14] bobkmertz: just make sure you send my phone back to me
05-06 [22:14] bobkmertz: I wish you the best of luck
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: God has someone for you
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: and someone for me
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: we'll find them
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: I guess Tiffany Mertz just wasnt meant to be
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: ok then
05-06 [22:15] bobkmertz: goodbye
05-06 [22:16] bobkmertz: :(
05-06 [22:16] Tiffs Wolf Dance: :'(
05-06 [22:16] bobkmertz: I guess I couldnt even get a goodbye
05-06 [22:16] Tiffs Wolf Dance: Goodbye Bobby.....
05-06 [22:16] bobkmertz: can you send my phone back tomorrow?
05-06 [22:16] Tiffs Wolf Dance: :'(
05-06 [22:17] Tiffs Wolf Dance: ..... not tomorrow
05-06 [22:17] bobkmertz: this weekend?
05-06 [22:17] Tiffs Wolf Dance: i'll do my best
05-06 [22:18] bobkmertz: I need it within a week
05-06 [22:18] Tiffs Wolf Dance: ..ok
05-06 [22:18] bobkmertz: maybe IM lori and see if she can pick it up
05-06 [22:19] bobkmertz: after this, I do not want you to IM me or call me......
05-06 [22:19] bobkmertz: if you want to find out about me
05-06 [22:19] bobkmertz: call my mom
05-06 [22:19] bobkmertz: my mom will be there for you
05-06 [22:19] bobkmertz: I cant be
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: I wish things were different.... I wish we were getting married liek you.... lied about?
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: Id unno
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: but anyway
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: you've closed that book
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: and so will I
05-06 [22:20] bobkmertz: goodbye Tiff
05-06 [22:48] bobkmertz: please change your profile
05-06 [23:13] bobkmertz: I cant believe you did this to me
05-06 [23:13] *** Auto-response from Tiffs Wolf Dance: :'(
05-06 [23:13] bobkmertz: and I wish I could just keep my mouth shut
05-06 [23:13] bobkmertz: but I cant
05-06 [23:14] bobkmertz: two days ago you wanted me to change your phone number so you could stay closer to me
05-06 [23:14] bobkmertz: then this
05-06 [23:14] bobkmertz: I dont understand you tiff
05-06 [23:15] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you do this to me
05-06 [23:15] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you lie about caring
05-06 [23:15] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you wouldnt even just let me talk to you
05-06 [23:15] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you gave my friends a reason to shove everything they ever said in my face
05-06 [23:15] bobkmertz: and why now I have to say I was wrong about everything I ever stood up for you about
05-06 [23:16] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you let me give speeches to everyone about how well we were doing
05-06 [23:16] bobkmertz: how you said things were so much better in the last few weeks
05-06 [23:16] bobkmertz: when really, inside, you hated being with me
05-06 [23:17] bobkmertz: I dont understand why you said you wanted to marry me when really you couldnt handle the pressure that I guess I put on you as a boyfriend
05-06 [23:17] bobkmertz: I dont understand why when before when I tried to break up with you for the sake of you you wouldnt let me beacuse you said you needed me..... when really I *WAS* causing problems
05-06 [23:18] bobkmertz: I cant understand this
05-06 [23:18] bobkmertz: I cant understand why you lie
05-06 [23:18] bobkmertz: and why you hurt
05-06 [23:18] bobkmertz: the person you say/said you love
05-06 [23:19] bobkmertz: and I know you sit there reading this
05-06 [23:19] bobkmertz: and I know that you just want to ignore me
05-06 [23:19] bobkmertz: and pretend that I never exsisted
05-06 [23:19] bobkmertz: and I know that your going to call jim tomorrow and your going to spend all weekend together
05-06 [23:20] bobkmertz: it happened before the day before you got to see Jim every day
05-06 [23:20] bobkmertz: and now its another day where you will soon be with Jim every day
05-06 [23:20] bobkmertz: and it happens again
05-06 [23:20] bobkmertz: its gotta be more than coincidence
05-06 [23:20] bobkmertz: even when you go back to school next year and want to get back with me, I understand that when Christmas break comes again, the same thing will happen so you can spend it with jim