One of the hardest things for me to deal with is never having anything to look forward to besides work or doing some project for someone who could care less what happens to me as long as I do what they need done. Every now and then something comes up to look forward to. Tonight was one of those nights and here I am more depressed than if I didn't have anything to look forward to. See, the thing is, what you look forward to has to actually happen or you just get let down. That's what happened tonight... Its actually what happens most of the time for me. We need to have hope to be able to live but if everything you hope for never comes to be then its easier on you emotionally to just not hope... But this is where it really sucks: the human mind can't survive without hope.

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