My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such a violent reaction against it?... Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if i did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depended on saying the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus, in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist - in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless - I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality - namely my idea of justice - was full of sense. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never have known it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.
- C.S. Lewis

Why can't I find a girl like jennifer in wargames who would go to colorado to meet me just because I didn't sound good?

Yesterday was a pretty good day. My mom, dad, and sisters came down to visit.... it was a little rushed because they only could come down for the day... it was really nice to have them here. Actually, it was just nice to have anyone here. Other than the people that helped me move, no one has come to visit me. Yea, I know its a drive for most of my friends but it would be nice to have someone visit. I'm very content with my 3 birds. Yea, I have another one for those counting. I brought home a Sun Conure on Friday.... His name is Bacardi. While he can be aggressive towards people he doesnt know, he is really a sweetie. Actually, his aggressiveness is actually shyness. Lisa and Cracker are adjusting well to everything too. The cool part is with my new jobs coming up, I will be able to spend a lot more time with them.
I actually havent been feeling extremely well recently. I think a lot of it is primarily caused by the stress that I had been under. Loss of appetite and nausea can be cause for concern but both are also symptoms of stress -- as well as signs of depression too. I have been feeling a bit better emotionally but it may just be something that will take a week or two to work it's way back.... if I'm sick tho, that could be cause for any emotional feelings.
My parents bought me a gas grill yesterday for my birthday (as of Thursday, I am 27). I bought burgers and stuff yesterday to grill today and had hoped to have a friend or two over to grill out but its noon now and, well, I'm not being so hopeful. I guess if I dont have anyone over it will give me more time to do some work around the house. I'll try to look on the bright side.
I hope everyone has a great memorial day!

I so feel like I'm wandering around life like a chucken with my head cut off. I know God has a plan and things will come together but I'm so lost and second guessing myself - but then again that's often when God does something. I guess what's really getting me is I've moved 4 counties away and now I'm cutting ties to nova and worse is the friends I believed would still be a part of my life don't seem to be... And my newest friends I just can't figure out and I'm wondering what I'm going to be left with. I thrive on interaction with people and if I'm losing friends then, well.... Yea

This isn't being such a happy day for me. Everyone says I need to go out but yet none of those people actually want to do anything with me. I have to say that as of yesterday I am officially depressed. I'm hoping it is just because of the bullshit I'm dealing with at work (and the lack of sleep associated) and that it dissappears after my last day but for at least now I have the tears hiding behind my eyes that could sneak out at any moment.

*sigh*

Well, a lot happened today. Starting next week I am back in the data center. Recently fox mill pets has been working me like crazy and I really couldn't deal with it. I was hoping it wasn't just me but I've come to realize that practically everyone else has begun a job search as well.
So starting next week I will be doing contract work for MFC and working for Pull The Plug. I am excited for the way things are turning out. Add to the house and the new jobs, I've also made some really great friends recently and one especially has made an awesome impact on me.

To sum it up, I need to get through this week and get my house set up and then get back to enjoying life.

Anyone moving into their own home that they just bought should be nothing but happy. I, however, am not. Its not the house. I'm extremely happy about that. The last few weeks they have been scheduling me 5 days in a row and all shifts are open to close. Everyone at work has begun a job search. The stress on me is even more because I am the only one on salary. I have 2 days off which is great but in the other 5 days I don't even have a chance to breathe. This means I have no time for doing any setup at my house. Add to that that comcast called me way early saying they were at my house to install my internet and I wasn't there and since I work every waking hour, that means that I won't have internet for at least a week!

I somehow need some relief. The stress on me right now is killing me and I (as well as others close to me) are concerned about my health.

Twitter is working on their servers and has this image on the page right now.... Gotta love it!

http://blogs.sun.com/jonathan/entry/what_we_did

So maybe there is a little self promotion in this blog post -- but they deserve it. In a tech world of everyone suing everyone else, it's nice to see companies that still focus on innovation instead of putting that energy to damage other companies.

So I now own a house! :)
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So the closing is officially scheduled for Monday at 11am :)

One of the hardest things for me to deal with is never having anything to look forward to besides work or doing some project for someone who could care less what happens to me as long as I do what they need done. Every now and then something comes up to look forward to. Tonight was one of those nights and here I am more depressed than if I didn't have anything to look forward to. See, the thing is, what you look forward to has to actually happen or you just get let down. That's what happened tonight... Its actually what happens most of the time for me. We need to have hope to be able to live but if everything you hope for never comes to be then its easier on you emotionally to just not hope... But this is where it really sucks: the human mind can't survive without hope.

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I dont think there are many feelings worse than knowing that no matter what you do, it will never be right.

I can't understand how I can miss someone that I haven't talked to in months and only spent one day with. Sometimes it still kills me :(
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Ashburn Village Animal Hospital gets an awesome review from me!

I took Cracker to see Dr. Steven Velling today at Ashburn Village Animal Hospital (www.ashburnanimals.com) and he was extremely thorough in checking her out and really went in depth to explain a few things I didnt know as well as give me some first aid tips in case Cracker and Lisa ever got into a fight. Aside from the professional side of things, we was an extremely nice guy and really easy to talk to. He took the time to get Cracker used to him before he even started any of the exam.

So, the result is that Cracker is a very healthy bird. He noticed her chemistry was very slightly off but he said that is probably going to be corrected since I had already changed her to a very good diet. We'll go back for a check up next month and make sure things are falling back into place.

My new pet, "Cracker"




Someone brought her into the pet store a while ago because she was lonely and plucking out her feathers. Chances are many of those feathers will not grow back and no one really showed much of an interest in her. At the store, however, I was the only person that Cracker consistently would go to and be ok with so it just seemed natural that I needed to take her home. I had Lisa's old cage so all I really had to buy was some perches and such. Lisa isnt all that happy but I think in the long run they will get used to chatting with each other through the day when I'm at work which should ultimately be better for both of them. Cracker does say a few words which is kind of cool and while she is an aggressive bird, she is also very sweet.

We'll see how the next few days go :)

Pet Food Contamination Solved

This is one freaking scary article. Sadly, to all the people who have begun making their own pet food may really not be solving much since the problem may affect human foods as well. While there is no concern of a human eating the "contamination" the same foods may still affect pets as well.

And tonight's WTF is.....

Student Arrested for Making Videogame Map of School

I guess the whole country's public school system hadn't made a bone headed move during this week so they collectively agreed that it was Texas' turn.

Honestly... come on!

Back in 1999 when Adam and I first went to Orlando for our auditions at Disney World, we were up late one night watching TV and ran across this infomercial for a local auto dealership. By far, it was the most pathetic commercial that we had ever seen... yet, we just could not stop watching. It certainly made the point that the most off the wall thing can stick in your head forever..... and I guess "The Family Man" served his purpose of getting people to know about Family Auto Mart. Ironically enough, this was done before "Family Guy" was on the air and it's scary that there is some resemblance.

At any rate, I ran across a youtube clip of some of one of these commercials/shows and I thought I would pass the mind numbing fun along.